The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In
this
era, it is significant to enhance the quality of human life with
science
. I strongly agree with
this
statement because
science
has provided better medicine for critical illness and healthier
food
options in the development of
food
technology. First and foremost,
Science
has a significant impact by providing better medical methods for critical illnesses. Nowadays, discoveries in medical
science
have helped humans survive diseases with proven track records.
For instance
, the finding of vaccines has helped the world from COVID-19 in 2020. It has improved human immunity to be able to fight viruses and saved the lives of people who got infected.
Moreover
, there are a lot of findings that help people survive specific diseases that have never been cured before.
Furthermore
, the impact of scientific discovery in
food
technology has created a variety of
food
substitutions. It has created a new option for human
food
, which manipulate ingredient to develop new healthier options of
food
.
For example
, nowadays, there is a lot of vegan option in the market, like meat from tempeh, or fish from mushroom. It helps people who taking care of their diet or for the person who is allergic to a specific ingredient. It
also
allows the community to reduce the dependency on one specific
food
source. It all happened because of
science
development in the
food
industry. In conclusion, I totally agree that
science
is supposed to focus on improving human life. It allows the community to have a better option in terms of medication and
food
availability.
Submitted by diyolory on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the complexity of your logical structure to increase coherence. This could involve embedding clauses within sentences, using a variety of linking devices effectively, and creating a clearer progression of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Work on providing a more comprehensive response. While the essay meets the basic requirements, there is room for further explanation and development of the central argument.
lexical resource
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas. Look for opportunities to use less common and more precise words to convey your points effectively.
grammatical range and accuracy
To improve your grammatical range, try incorporating a variety of complex sentence structures, such as conditionals, passive voice, and relative clauses. Pay attention to the accuracy and flexibility of your sentences.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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