IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

*Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.* Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

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In recent years, the robotic machine has increasingly replaced people in
jobs
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. In my opinion,
although
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this
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 change has disadvantages for the average worker, I am convinced that there are
much
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many
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 more benefits compared with drawbacks. In terms of the negative sides of using
robots
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 for
jobs
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,
This
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 trend may cause disadvantages for workers. With the development of modern technology, It is a common fact that many industries replaced employees with automatic machines, which enhances their efficiency.
Thus
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, the number of farmers and factory workers has constantly decreased.
As a result
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, many families have to struggle to make ends meet. Take Fooxbot as an example, Foxconn, a famous company, installed 10,000 Foxbot
robots
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 and is expected to add 30,000 more of them each year, which means that a lot of workers will lose their
jobs
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 because
robots
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 have replaced their
jobs
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.
However
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,
this
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 development brings far more positive effects on humans.
Firstly
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,
robots
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 are a huge benefit to
medical
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medicine
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. Artificial intelligence helps us make better diagnoses and may reduce the risk
at
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of
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 surgeon
performs
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performance
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.
For example
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, With robotic surgery, doctors can minimize surgical procedures to be done with more precision and accuracy.
Secondly
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,
robots
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 reduce the workload of humans.
In other words
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, the machine is capable of performing intensive human
labor
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labour
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 and backbreaking tasks.
Furthermore
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, the intelligent assistants will do tedious tasks
such
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 as answering
email
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emails
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, which allows us to do more interpersonal and creative aspects of work.
For instance
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, one private hypermarket installed an automated billing system on the counter which is working 24/7 hours. In conclusion, though the dominance of robotic technologies has shortcomings, it still gives humans great assistance in some important aspects like health care and
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
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.

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task response
The essay discusses both sides of the argument and provides a conclusion with a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure with some disjointed ideas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and lack of precision in word choice.
grammatical range
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, with occasional errors in grammar and sentence structure.
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