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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

#computers #education #people #trend #consequences #argument
Nowadays, science and technology are expanding day by day and the
use
 of
computers
 and other modern devices are gaining popularity all over the world. Recently, the
use
 of
computers
 has been expanding in the
education
 sector.
However
, some people consider
this
 a positive trend,
while
 others argue it has negative effects. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and in the end, I will present my opinion. Looking at the first side of the argument, the
use
 of
computers
 in
education
 has several benefits. The computer connects
students
 globally
due to
this
 they can easily gain information from around the world.
Moreover
, through several programming software,
students
 can solve problems easily and get more precise solutions. Take MATLAB
for instance
, many mathematical problems take ages to solve on paper but through
this
 software, one can easily solve and get more precise solutions in minutes just by giving some instruction.
On the other hand
, the
use
 of
computers
 in
education
 can distract
students
. By
this
, I mean that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a student may lose focus on studying
while
 using a computer. They may
use
 some addictive applications
such
 as Facebook, Instagram or some entertainment apps like Fortnite etc, which may waste their precious time and in the end, they may lose their grades. A recent study shows that 75% of
students
 all over the world
use
computers
 for entertainment purposes. On the basis of the above arguments, it is concluded that using a computer for learning lead to gaining more and more information and help in solving complex problems but it has a negative effect in term of distraction. In my opinion,
computers
 can be used for
education
 under the strict supervision of parents and teachers so they can not be misused
Submitted by umark5353 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the main points to be discussed in the essay. Additionally, try to summarize the key points in the conclusion to provide a well-rounded response.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support the main points. This will further enhance the clarity and strength of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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