As technology advances, traveling to space is likely to become an option for holidaysmakers in the future. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of space tourism?
The new era is living in a
much advanced
system Add a hyphen
much-advanced
especially
in the technological aspects. Nowadays, humans Add the comma(s)
, especially
traveling
to Change the spelling
travelling
space
is more common and this
trend may increase in the upcoming years. There are some pros and cons for this
approach and I will be demonstrating both benefits and drawback
in the ensuing paragraphs.
To Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
embark
with, technological advancement always benefits the government in various ways Verb problem
begin
such
as generating the economy, increasing the
employment opportunities and so on. Correct article usage
apply
Traveling
to Change the spelling
Travelling
space
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
people
huge money
and this
would help company
and Fix the agreement mistake
companies
government
; Correct article usage
the government
this
money
they
can promote Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
various departments and Change preposition
apply
it
brings up the best quality of life to Correct pronoun usage
apply
community
. Add an article
the community
a community
Furthermore
, it makes company
more producible as they need to make necessary items. Add an article
the company
a company
Moreover
, job opportunity
in the field Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
increases
and there will be more Wrong verb form
will increase
people
to
obtain work in various sectors. Fix the infinitive
apply
For example
, visitors need variety
of clothes and the individual who makes Add an article
a variety
this
would be beneficial from this
.
On the other side, space
exploration brings many disadvantages. Firstly
, going to such
areas need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
vast
amount of Add an article
a vast
the vast
money
and it always challenges the
diversity. Only humans who have Correct article usage
apply
money
can use the facilities and other people
cannot travel is such
a shaming for the country. Secondly
, it causes different health issues and it is dangerous in
Change preposition
apply
some times
. Correct your spelling
sometimes
However
, the disease can be curable but, if any problem occurs during the visit or launching time can be life threatening
. Add a hyphen
life-threatening
Finally
, some organization does not have enough products and making cost may double the amount that people
spend.
To conclude
, space
tourism is increasing day by day and it obtain
many advantages to Verb problem
provides
people
like enhancing the
employment, growth of Correct article usage
apply
economy
and Correct article usage
the economy
organizations
high productivity. Admittedly, sometimes it has adverse Change noun form
organizations'
organization's
effect
too. Individuals are risking their Fix the agreement mistake
effects
life
to go Fix the agreement mistake
lives
in
Change preposition
into
space
.Submitted by rinuthomasmathew07 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more coherently and providing a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure that your response fully addresses all aspects of the essay question, and provide clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant specific examples.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words to express your ideas effectively.
grammatical range
Focus on improving the variety and complexity of your sentence structures, and the accuracy of your grammar.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example