Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
In
this
modern world, technologies
developing more quickly than past. As a result
, it gives
good and bad Verb problem
has
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
to
our daily Change preposition
on
life
and our Fix the agreement mistake
lives
communication
with others. I think that,
modern Remove the comma
apply
technologies
have more positive effects than negative
.
First of all, almost 70% of Correct pronoun usage
negative ones
Add an article
the world
world
population Change noun form
world's
using
Wrong verb form
uses
communication
devices in
everywhere from work to home. Because of overusing Change preposition
apply
technologies
, there are more introverts than other
decades. Change preposition
in other
For instance
, they are sitting on their personal computers in
all day and doing their jobs. Even, they can do all Change preposition
apply
communication
and meetings with some specific software or videocalls without offline conversation.
In my mind, technological development have
both effects, Change the verb form
has
goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
than
Correct word choice
and
bads
. Correct your spelling
bad
Positive
effect of modern gadgets is that, They can help Add an article
The positive
A positive
to
us communicate with each other Change preposition
apply
from
online via Change preposition
apply
videocall
and messengers. Correct your spelling
video calls
For example
, nowadays people can send message
to everyone in a second from other corner of Fix the agreement mistake
messages
world
to another. But it may have some negative effects, because of the internet, so many relatives and close friends are not meeting face-to-face Add an article
the world
than
Change preposition
as in
past
.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
the past
technologies
had
to be developed year by year Wrong verb form
have
for creating
easy Change preposition
to create
communication
ways to people. But who
are available for offline relationships, Correct pronoun usage
those who
they
have to prefer face-to-face Correct pronoun usage
apply
meeting
. If everything Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
have
some limits, it would bring more Wrong verb form
had
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
benefit
.Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
Submitted by elbekgulomov0 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is quite disorganized. Improve the structure and organization of your essay by using clear topic sentences, supporting details, and a proper conclusion.
task achievement
You need to address the task more fully to achieve a higher score. Make sure to cover all aspects of the question and support your ideas with specific examples.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary. Try to use a wider variety of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay. Work on improving your sentence structure, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.