Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be done about this?
Entering into the period time of
21th
century is the moment that Change the ending
21st
human’s
Change noun form
human
life
become
more and more developed Change the verb form
becomes
accompanying
Wrong verb form
accompanied
with
modern. Not at all, urban sprawl Change preposition
by
also
improves with the appearance of big cities. Many people from rural areas or some religious
have decided to move into large cities Replace the word
religions
for starting
Change preposition
to start
new
Correct article usage
a new
life
and career.
It is important to understand that our social life
are
changing very quickly so that we have to catch up with lots of Change the verb form
is
unsual
things from around our Correct your spelling
unusual
life
. Besides
, mostly
every Rephrase
almost
individuals’s
Fix the agreement mistake
individual’s
life
can have
more and more interesting Verb problem
be
as well as
happier with neighbours next to your house or from the Internet such
as Facebook, Instagram, zalo.etc. Because of technology’s improvement, we can easily make Add an article
a friend
friend
through Fix the agreement mistake
friends
Internet
but Add an article
the Internet
also
show that we actually will not know where your
Correct pronoun usage
our
friends
come from with correct 100% or maybe they have lived somewhere near your city but you even
not know it. Add a missing verb
do even
For instance
, Facebook which app
Correct article usage
an app
can
help everyone make friend and get in touch with them, Correct pronoun usage
that can
and
you probably find their information but Correct word choice
apply
it
can not Correct pronoun usage
you
sure
that it Add a missing verb
be sure
true
.
In fact Add a missing verb
is true
that
people who Correct word choice
apply
got
lots of Verb problem
have
friends
when they learn together in college seem do not know
the place and work office Fix the infinitive
to know
Rephrase
where their
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
living
or Replace the word
live
working
. Just a simple reason that everyone Wrong verb form
work
have
own dream for Wrong verb form
has their
future
and they try to reach it successfully when Correct article usage
the future
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
university
. What is more, some of them believe that large and modern cities are the best choice for gaining employment and starting Change preposition
from university
career
.
From my perspective, Add an article
a career
with
modern devices and Change preposition
apply
equipments
like Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
laptop
, mobile Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
phone
and Fix the agreement mistake
phones
computer
are the ways to make new Fix the agreement mistake
computers
friends
and to contact with
them. We should care Change preposition
apply
to
our neighbours because you can share funny things with them and they will help you anytime when you feel lonely or have some difficult issues.
In conclusion, Change preposition
for
nowsaday
still many Correct your spelling
nowadays
person
spend less time Change to a plural noun
people
for
their Change preposition
with
friends
because of working
but they usually ask and chat with their neighbours if they have a holiday or take a nap at Replace the word
work
weekend
.Correct article usage
the weekend
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear coherence with haphazard organization. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and logically connects to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but lack clear thesis statements or summaries. They need to explicitly address the essay question and the writer's position.
coherence cohesion
Main points require stronger support with facts, examples, or arguments. Develop each point fully to improve the essay's persuasive power.
task achievement
The response does not effectively address the essay prompt. Focus on clearly stating the problems caused by not knowing one's neighbours and providing concrete solutions.
task achievement
Ensure ideas are comprehensive and expressed clearly for the reader. The essay should be easy to follow and understand, even for someone not familiar with the topic.
task achievement
The essay needs to include specific examples to illustrate the points made. Make sure the examples are relevant and effectively tie back to the main argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
