IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You are planning to take a vacation. Write the letter to friend. In your letter Describe the vocation spot you have chosen Explain how you plan to spend your time there Invite your friend to join you on your vacation

#vacation #friend #vocation #spot #plan #time
Dear Amy, I hope you and your family are in great fun. I am writing
this
 letter regarding
this
 holiday planning. I am planning to spend
this
 leisure period in Toronto. It is not only known as the best tourist place but
also
 famous for Punjabi community gatherings. I have already made all the arrangements like hoteling and air tickets. I planned to spend the first week seeing nearby places like Niagra Falls, ThunderBay, CN Tower, and Blue Mountain.
Furthermore
, in the next week, Diljit's concert will happen in Rogers Stadium which is one of the biggest shows in the world.
Also
, the weather in Canada is awesome nowadays. I suggest you come with me and enjoy the lovely holidays.
This
 break will become unforgettable for my whole life. I want you to be there with me so that we can see and feel the happiness together. I hope you will write me back with the same excitement. Yours lovingly, Navdeep Kaur
Submitted by knavdeep3011 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific details about why Toronto is appealing to you personally, which can add a more personal touch to the letter. This will also enhance your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to improve overall flow. For example, connecting the idea of pre-booked arrangements more explicitly to the various activities planned could help.
task achievement
Excellent use of a friendly and inviting tone throughout the letter, which is perfect for this context.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which makes the letter easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Opening and closing are appropriate and add a personal touch to the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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