Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Nowadays, many individuals do not know the appearance of their
neighbours
in large cities. From my perspective, the serious problem is caused by the development of society and it needs to be solved. The main reason which caused
this
question is the development and modernization of technology. Many equipment have been invented
such
as smartphones, tablets, and laptops. These services attract many families, especially among the young crowd. Humans are addicted to these modern inventions.
This
thing gradually makes the public become emotionless, not interested in everything around them, and even not caring about their
neighbours
.
Nevertheless
, they gradually form a closed lifestyle, not wanting to interact with individuals around them. To tackle
this
problem, governments should advertise strongly some healthy playgrounds
such
as outdoor activities, water parks and theme parks to attract the population. It is recognized that it is applied
a
Change preposition
as a
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key to helping the public to have a chance which people can easily come into contact with each other, even their
neighbours
.
Moreover
, the nation will get out of bad behaviour and become friendly and hospitable to everyone. In conclusion, the problem of some people not knowing their
neighbours
is a warning.
Hence
, some folks must give up
this
lifestyle and open their hearts to make friends with everyone. It makes your life more meaningful.
Submitted by zky1705202 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has an acceptable structure, with both an introduction and a conclusion. However, transitions between ideas could be improved to enhance readability and flow. Ensure that each paragraph connects logically to the next.
coherence cohesion
You have made an effort to support your main ideas, yet the examples provided are quite general. To enhance your score, use more specific, detailed examples to support each point, and expand on these examples to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the prompt, discussing some problems and potential solutions related to not knowing neighbours in big cities. To enhance your score, ensure that you thoroughly answer all parts of the question, providing a balanced discussion of both problems and solutions. Additionally, develop your ideas more fully to meet the expectations for task response in the IELTS examination.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community spirit
  • Isolation
  • Surveillance
  • Safety and security
  • Vulnerability
  • Support networks
  • Local gatherings
  • Foster
  • Social media platforms
  • Neighbourhood watch
  • Emergency situations
  • Natural disasters
  • Shared resources
  • Crime rates
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