What do you think could be improved in the Council Town should add. Formal letter write to the Council Town.

Dear
Town
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Council
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, I am writing in response to your email to express my perspectives and suggestions regarding potential improvements to the
Town
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Council
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. I truly appreciate the opportunity to share my ideas, as I believe these improvements could significantly enhance the experience for all visitors.
Firstly
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, I would like to suggest that the
Town
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Council
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add more sports clubs and playground facilities for the pupils.
This
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would help many students concentrate better and improve their mental health.
Secondly
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, it would be highly beneficial if the
Town
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Council
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provided a wider range of seating areas and libraries for the students, as
this
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would create a more convenient environment for everyone.
Furthermore
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, I recommend that they
organize
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organise
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extracurricular activities
such
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as food festivals and sports competitions for one day.
This
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would not only boost personal development but
also
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help maintain mental well-being. Thank you for considering my opinion. I sincerely appreciate your time and hope that my feedback will be helpful. Yours faithfully, July

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task response
Start with a clear goal in the first line, for example: 'I write to share ideas to improve our town.'
coherence and cohesion
Break the ideas into separate blocks so each one is easy to read. Use a new paragraph or line for each idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use small linking words to join sentences, such as 'and', 'also', 'in addition'.
coherence and cohesion
Keep word choices the same for the same meaning, for example use 'students' all the time.
tone
Polite tone and form test of a formal letter.
structure
The letter has a clear list of ideas and a proper close.
content
It shows care for others and a wish to help the town.
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