Topic: Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

#topic #people #neighbors #cities

In recent years,

people

not getting to know their neighbourhood has been a major concern. The reason for

this

phenomenon is

due to

their busy lifestyles and urbanization, which can be tackled by governments holding more community events.

Due to

busy

work

and deadlines which demand employees to try their best to complete the tasks,

people

do not have time to make friends or communicate with other individuals.

As a result

, a long tiring day of

work

can exhaust every worker, leading to a lack of energy and motivation to talk to their neighbors. Taking Tokyo as an example, where employees always

work

until night to manage to afford their cost of living, they have no intention of being in a relationship with anyone and think it is time-consuming and a waste of their energy. Another reason for

this

issue is the urbanization and mobility. As technology develops, moving to another place is no longer a problem for citizens and families. Lots of

people

have to leave place to place frequently and go to other urban areas because of their job demands and conditions.

Consequently

this

trend prevents individuals from hardly maintaining and strengthening their relationships for a long time, causing

people

not to know each other despite living nearby.

However

, those problems can be solved by governments trying to operate more and more special events and occasions. Those activities will encourage individuals to be active and try connecting with their communities.

Therefore

, the interactions between residents will increase and enable them to get to know other

people

. Ho Chi Minh City is successful in connecting its citizens and improving their relationships by holding lots of festivals, which helps

people

to have a chance to make friends without anxiety or shyness.

Hence

, neighbourhoods that do not know other

people

are

due to

the busy

work

and urbanization.

Therefore

, authorities should operate more events to give chances for their folks to talk and make friends.

Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on Mon Nov 13 2023

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coherence and cohesion

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The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses a variety of words effectively. However, more sophisticated and precise language could be used to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

The essay exhibits a good command of grammar, with minor errors. However, incorporating more complex sentence structures and varied grammatical patterns would enhance the grammatical range.

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

324 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic: Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Fully explain your ideas

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that mobile phone is destroying social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.