IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What cause this problem? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbours #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, citizens in large
cities
Use synonyms
 face the
problem
Use synonyms
 of not knowing each other. The writer believes that
this
Linking Words
 is caused by problems in
city
Use synonyms
 organization and the busy lives seen by
residents
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 can be solved by establishing community centres in suitable locations. One of the main factors which contribute to the issue of
residents
Use synonyms
 not developing
relationships
Use synonyms
 with their neighbours is bad organisation in
cities
Use synonyms
. As
city
Use synonyms
 planners fail to replace residential areas where they should be,
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 miss the
chance
Use synonyms
 to come by and meet each other on regular occasions.
As a result
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 lose the
chance
Use synonyms
 to build
relationships
Use synonyms
 and gain affection with others.
This
Linking Words
 trend is displayed in the statistics recorded in a recent research done by Ho Chi Minh
City
Use synonyms
's government in 2018, stating that bad plans in
city
Use synonyms
 planning have led to an
overall
Linking Words
 decrease in the number of
relationships
Use synonyms
 seen among
residents
Use synonyms
 within various districts. Another factor worth considering is that citizens within
cities
Use synonyms
 have busy lives.
This
Linking Words
 is the leading cause of the fact that
people
Use synonyms
 rarely have the
chance
Use synonyms
 to gather up. It is
due to
Linking Words
 strict routines and schedules that
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 arises. In September 2019, Cambridge started an experiment to find out the reason for bad
relationships
Use synonyms
 seen between neighbours, and 60% of the contestants said that they do not have enough time to befriend
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other. One solution to alleviate
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 is that governments and
city
Use synonyms
 planners should build more community centres. Establishing more of those commodities in areas connecting two different sections of
cities
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can serve as a meeting place for the citizens.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can have fun with their close ones
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 having a
chance
Use synonyms
 to meet other
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, busy lifestyles and bad
city
Use synonyms
 planning have led to the
problem
Use synonyms
 of
residents
Use synonyms
 being unable to build
relationships
Use synonyms
 with each other.
However
Linking Words
, placing community centres in logical places will surely rectify
this
Linking Words
 issue
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Include more specific and relevant examples to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to add depth and precision to your ideas.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider range of sentence structures to demonstrate more complexity in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community spirit
  • Isolation
  • Surveillance
  • Safety and security
  • Vulnerability
  • Support networks
  • Local gatherings
  • Foster
  • Social media platforms
  • Neighbourhood watch
  • Emergency situations
  • Natural disasters
  • Shared resources
  • Crime rates
What to do next:
Look at other essays: