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Band 6.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What cause this problem? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbours #cities
Nowadays, citizens in large
cities
 face the
problem
 of not knowing each other. The writer believes that
this
 is caused by problems in
city
 organization and the busy lives seen by
residents
 and
this
problem
 can be solved by establishing community centres in suitable locations. One of the main factors which contribute to the issue of
residents
 not developing
relationships
 with their neighbours is bad organisation in
cities
. As
city
 planners fail to replace residential areas where they should be,
people
also
 miss the
chance
 to come by and meet each other on regular occasions.
As a result
, they
also
 lose the
chance
 to build
relationships
 and gain affection with others.
This
 trend is displayed in the statistics recorded in a recent research done by Ho Chi Minh
City
's government in 2018, stating that bad plans in
city
 planning have led to an
overall
 decrease in the number of
relationships
 seen among
residents
 within various districts. Another factor worth considering is that citizens within
cities
 have busy lives.
This
 is the leading cause of the fact that
people
 rarely have the
chance
 to gather up. It is
due to
 strict routines and schedules that
this
problem
 arises. In September 2019, Cambridge started an experiment to find out the reason for bad
relationships
 seen between neighbours, and 60% of the contestants said that they do not have enough time to befriend
with
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each other. One solution to alleviate
this
problem
 is that governments and
city
 planners should build more community centres. Establishing more of those commodities in areas connecting two different sections of
cities
,
Remove the comma
apply
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can serve as a meeting place for the citizens.
As a result
,
people
 can have fun with their close ones
while
also
 having a
chance
 to meet other
people
. In conclusion, busy lifestyles and bad
city
 planning have led to the
problem
 of
residents
 being unable to build
relationships
 with each other.
However
, placing community centres in logical places will surely rectify
this
 issue
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task response
Include more specific and relevant examples to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to add depth and precision to your ideas.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider range of sentence structures to demonstrate more complexity in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community spirit
  • Isolation
  • Surveillance
  • Safety and security
  • Vulnerability
  • Support networks
  • Local gatherings
  • Foster
  • Social media platforms
  • Neighbourhood watch
  • Emergency situations
  • Natural disasters
  • Shared resources
  • Crime rates
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