Today, many people do not know their neighbours in lrge cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?
Nowadays, many citizens do not have social contact with their next-door friends in
large
metropolis. The reason for Add an article
a large
this
problem
is that many dwellers
are leading hectic lifestyles and
can be tackled by gathering some Correct word choice
which
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
events
together.
The root cause of the issue is that we ae
having bustling lives in big cities. Each citizen today is busy with their daily life; they go to work to earn money to pay for living equipment. But it is not allCorrect your spelling
are
,
when working, some Remove the comma
apply
people
will get stress or even depression due to
the amount of work they have or the budgets they have to spend each month. As a result
, it makes dwellers
when going home just want to relax, unwind themselves
and Correct pronoun usage
apply
do
not commute with their neighbours at all. It is quite true in Vietnam, Unnecessary verb
apply
many
Correct pronoun usage
that many
people
, especially the twentieth and
live in Correct word choice
who
the
Correct article usage
apply
flat
, are less likely to know their next-door friends because of Fix the agreement mistake
flats
being
stress.
Another factor is that Unnecessary verb
apply
people
nowadays Wrong verb form
use
using
Wrong verb form
use
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
phone
so much that they do not care about Fix the agreement mistake
phones
Correct article usage
the people
people
around them. As we are in the revolutionary era, every Correct article usage
the people
people
have to change to catch up with the changes. However
, some people
now are having in
Change preposition
apply
the
negative side because they rely Correct article usage
a
to
much on technology or Replace the word
too
even
addicted to it, Add a missing verb
are even
as a result
, citizens are losing their bonds with their neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
Change preposition
from times
times
to Fix the agreement mistake
time
times
. Looking at Fix the agreement mistake
time
the
Berlin in Germany, Correct article usage
apply
people
here are always using Correct pronoun usage
their phone
phone
to surf the internet, read Fix the agreement mistake
phones
magazine
or news and do not care much about their next-door friends.
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
This
problem
can be solved by celebrating the tradition
Replace the word
traditional
events
together at the community living house. The city's government have to organize some national events
and encourage the dwellers
to join in to have fun. Moreover
, citizens can also
hold an event like birthday
or wedding anniversary and share the happiness Add an article
a birthday
to
other neighbours. Change preposition
with
Consequently
, it helps to strengthen bond
with families, which is good because when a family is having a Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
problem
, they can ask for help easier. Take an example in the US, annually, there are many events
such
as Halloweens
, Fix the agreement mistake
Halloween
Easter
Egg they Correct word choice
and Easter
will
decorate their house just to fit Verb problem
apply
i
with the atmosphere and wait for the children Correct your spelling
in
come
to play.
In conclusion, city Fix the infinitive
to come
dwellers
nowadays are
lack of content with their neighbours Unnecessary verb
apply
due to
the fact that they have to care for their living. Having more events
together is the solution for
Change preposition
to
this
problem
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task response
The introduction lacks clarity and does not effectively address the prompt. The conclusion is underdeveloped and does not summarize the main points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical organization of ideas. The progression of ideas from one paragraph to another is not always clear, resulting in confusion for the reader.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some effective use of words and phrases. However, there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that affect the clarity and precision of expression.
grammatical range
The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, with some errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tense, and sentence construction. There is a need for more varied and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical range and accuracy.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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