IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment ? What can be done by individuals and government to solve this problem ?

#plastic #bags #bottles #environment #damage #individuals #government
Some
of
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apply
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people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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 about the usage of
plastic
, mainly,
as
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apply
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the bottle, the bag, and the packaging which impact
to
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apply
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the quality of the environment.
This
 essay will examine the main causes of the
plastic
 in everyday use and provide possible
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to
this
 problem.
To begin
,
plastic
 is the most popular thing that
people
 think it is immensely useful and easy to bring anywhere.
For instance
,
plastic
 has no particular treatment
while
 in use, if someone
think
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thinks
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 it is not useful
anymore
Replace the word
any more
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people
 will throw it, as
the
Correct article usage
a
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 result
of
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apply
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, the waste of
plastic
was have
Wrong verb form
has
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 the most significant impact
to
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on
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 the environment, notably, the ecosystem which has a substantial role in
nature
.
In addition
, the industry that
manufactured
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manufactures
show examples
plastic
 bags,
plastic
 bottles, and packaging equipment from
plastic
 have no concern
toward
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about
show examples
 the issue that might appear in the near future,
for example
, the industry produce
the
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apply
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plastic
 from material which not
nature friendly
Add a hyphen
nature-friendly
show examples
 and
it
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apply
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causes
the
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apply
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plastic
 hard to demolish naturally.
According to
 the problem,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and individuals need to do some movements that might tackle
this
 case,
whereas
, promoting something
that
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apply
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related to protecting
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 would be
a
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the
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 right way at
the
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apply
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first step,
then
 educate
people
 could be the next step to make
people
 more aware with the deleterious potential impacts of the
plastic
 usage.
Besides
 that, the government should make new regulations for the industry that
manufactured
Wrong verb form
manufactures
show examples
 products with
plastic
 as a raw material,
moreover
, they will be more concerned
in opt
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about opting
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the
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for the
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 materials in their production.
To conclude
, material selection is important to make a
nature friendly
Add a hyphen
nature-friendly
show examples
plactic
Correct your spelling
plastic
 as a major material in
produce
Wrong verb form
producing
show examples
 goods,
thus
, the role of
agent
Add an article
an agent
the agent
show examples
 of change is substantial to help
people
 savvy with the causes, and initiate in embarking a movement for solving the
nature
 issues.
Submitted by fatimanastitiniskala on

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task response
The essay contains some relevant points, but the response does not fully address the prompt. The introduction lacks clarity and the conclusion could be stronger.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat clear, but the introduction and conclusion need improvement. There is a need for better use of cohesive devices to connect ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of word choice and collocation errors. More precise and varied vocabulary should be used to convey ideas effectively.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a basic control of grammar and sentence structure, but there are errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction. Work on mastering complex sentence structures for better coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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