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Band 2

Nowadays the population of young people is more than old people in the countries. And it benefits us. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#population #people #countries
Mostly human
populaloin
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population
 of our planet
are consist
Wrong verb form
consists
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 young
people
than
Rephrase
rather than
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olderly
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elderly
older
people
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 brings some advantages. Commonly spread
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
 that youth can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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achieve more benefits by being
creativity
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creative
show examples
however
 old
people
 are .
This
 essay will
concider
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consider
 on both
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
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until
Correct word choice
and
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 provide
last
Change the article
the last
show examples
 view. On the one hand, there are many facts
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
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 that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 population have
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
positives
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positive
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 ways
for
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of
show examples
 developing technologies and smart
algoritms
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algorithms
.
For
instance
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instance,
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 they
poduce
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produce
produced
 many tapes of digital
devises
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devices
show examples
 and
most
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the most
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 of
importan
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important
importance
 of
this
 is
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
artificial intelligence as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
 society
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 different opportunities to achieve aims.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest
show examples
people
least
Rephrase
are less
show examples
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 than
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
 youth.
Different
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In different
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 world, they claim that old
people
 cannot be able to bring any benefits
us
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to us
show examples
.
For
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To
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 support
this
 opinion there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 many examples of countries which have disloyal policies toward pensioners. As
Correct article usage
a result
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result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they have
Correct article usage
a destractive
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destractive
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destructive
sestem
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system
. In
conclusiun
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conclusion
, to
summ
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sum
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both viewpoints I would say that it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
thoo
Correct your spelling
three
 different ways to
discuss
Correct pronoun usage
discuss them
show examples
. I strongly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that young and old
people
 can live together and in peace.
Submitted by 8453525 on

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grammar
Improve your sentence structures and use appropriate punctuation to enhance clarity and coherence in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to provide a clearer introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of your essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively. Additionally, be mindful of word choice and spelling errors.
task achievement
Address the prompt more directly and provide more specific examples to support your ideas. Make sure to stay focused on the topic throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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