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Band 7

People continue to commit crime even after being punished for it . Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

#people #crime
That individuals commit crimes even after facing punishment raises important questions about the effectiveness of the criminal justice system and the underlying factors that contribute to recidivism. Several reasons can explain why
this
 phenomenon persists , and addressing these factors is crucial to curbing crime rates. The
first,
possible reason for repeated criminal behaviour is that the correctional system does not focus enough on helping criminals change their behaviour.
Additionally
, if the punishment only focuses on making them suffer without giving them a chance to learn new skills or get support, they may struggle to reintegrate into society successfully.
Moreover
, to truly stop the cycle of criminality, it is important to address the underlying reasons that lead to criminal behaviour,
such
 as poverty, drug addiction, or lack of education. By understanding and tackling these root causes, we can help people break free from the cycle and have a better chance at a law-abiding life. To effectively stop evil, a comprehensive approach is required.
This
 involves addressing the underlying causes that drive citizens to commit crimes. Investing in education, job training, and mental health services can provide individuals with opportunities for personal growth and positive engagement with society.
Furthermore
, evil prevention strategies should prioritize community engagement and collaboration . Building strong relationships between law enforcement agencies and the community can foster trust, promote communication, and create safer neighbourhoods. In conclusion, the occurrence of individuals continuing to commit crimes after punishment highlights the need for a comprehensive approach to crime prevention . By addressing underlying causes , providing rehabilitation programs, and promoting community engagement, society can work towards breaking the cycle of crime and fostering safer, more inclusive communities.
Submitted by xiaoruoling7 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the essay's structure. Your essay's introduction can be improved for clarity and explicit mention of the reasons and solutions that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs, and to help the reader follow the argument. Your essay could benefit from more diverse connectives and transitions.
task achievement
Your main points need better development and support. Include more specific examples, and data or research findings to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the essay's purpose clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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