people naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems of problems can this cause? Whats solutions you can suggest?
In
this
real world, the number of people
who want their lives to become beautiful and spectacular is increasing exponentially from young age to middle age. In this
essay, it is not necessary and not obvious impact to jump out of the comfort zone or choose to stay in it all the time
are based on my considering. As you satisfy your life
in
the whole day as a vivid person is enough to compare most of the other things.
First of all, Change preposition
apply
forced
to accept all things is terrible from study or work, Add a missing verb
being forced
thus
, people
need tons of time
as they are free to stay in their comfort zone to relax is a fun fact without a doubt. Second,
not most people
already find a comfortable time
or space in their whole lives if they are lucky dogs. Therefore
, people
naturally do not think living their current life
is compulsory much less we do not want to make choices or changes in our lives because it consumes our spirit and body energy.
But to be honest, if they want nothing to change is also
a bad thing and a harmful choice. In my opinion, it will cause them may lose their persistence or something precious spirit in their reality life
because they do not want to face the challenge and overcome it while
some situation happens. I suggest you it
cut into half a part of your Correct pronoun usage
apply
life
, I mean, you can gap 1 year or 2 years to seek more adventure life
or change your home place such
as living in another country. It will help you to exchange your brain ideas as before or broaden your horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
while
you work or travelling
there.
Wrong verb form
travel
To sum up
, if you have enough time
and money you can go anywhere with anybody in a gap year when you realize you must exchange your environment based on your hometown. All in all, people
want to contain what is already in their life
is a very common thing in this
society, so we can not emphasise this
if everyone need
to change their spot as soon as possible but it is impossible.Change the verb form
needs
Submitted by dearjenfrombangkok on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, this affects the coherence and coherence. The introduction is vague and the conclusion is not well-developed. The main points lack sufficient support and development. The response to the task is incomplete and the ideas are not fully clear or comprehensive. Specific examples are not well-developed and lack relevance.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the task. The response is incomplete and lacks clear and comprehensive ideas. The examples provided lack relevance to the topic and are not well-developed. It is important to provide a more complete and focused response to the task, with clear and well-developed examples that directly relate to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!