Some people think that children should be educated at school about paying taxes and personal budgeting in order to help them better manage their finances when they are older. Others think that parents should teach these things, and that children will understand taxes and how to spend money carefully through life experience in the future. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#people #children #school #taxes #finances #parents #money #life #future

Nowadays, there is a group of people who believe

children

should learn financial

education

school

while

others think that

this

task

Add an article

a task

the task

show examples

for the

parents

at home.

This

essay will discuss both sides of

this

argument, and

also

why I believe that

this

subject

should be learned at

school

. There are two main arguments to support the idea of personal finances being learned at

school

. One of these is

because

Correct word choice

that

show examples

it is a

subject

that requires a professional professor to teach

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

For instance

, to teach math, or even biology, it is needed a professional who actually

understand

Correct subject-verb agreement

understands

show examples

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

subject

, and it should not be

differet

Correct your spelling

different

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

financial

aducation

Correct your spelling

education

Furthermore

, at

school

the

children

would not have only one specific approach, the class would be focused on

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

examples.

For instance

, the kids would be able to understand different situations, not only the

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

they have at home.

However

, there are individuals who believe that learning financial

education

at home would be more efficient for

children

. The main reason to support

this

idea is that life experience is the best classroom for

this

kind of

subject

For example

, some

parents

believe that only after paying the first bill, a person will be able to understand

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

money

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and become an adult.

Additionally

, it is argued that teachers would not tell the true

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

story about their finances, only

parents

fell

Correct your spelling

feel

show examples

confortable

Correct your spelling

comfortable

to talk

Change the verb form

talking

show examples

about

this

. In conclusion, I totally agree with the idea of

children

learnig

Correct your spelling

learning

financial

education

school

, not only because the professors are more prepared, but

also

because the

children

could have a bigger range of different examples.

However

, it is important to mention that

parents

have their importance

Change preposition

show examples

the

education

of their

children

, and they

also

must be part of that new

subject

Submitted by lucasb7z on Mon Nov 13 2023

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Content

Ensure that the main points are developed in more detail with further supporting evidence and examples.

Content

Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary sentence structures to enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Language

Work on using a wider range of vocabulary and more advanced grammar structures to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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