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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the depth of snow (in cm) in a particular ski resort in Canada in three individuals years.

The chart below shows the depth of snow (in cm) in a particular ski resort in Canada in three individuals years.
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The bar chart compares the variations in
depth
Correct article usage
the depth
show examples
 of
snow
Use synonyms
 per month in a resort in Canada across
three
Use synonyms
 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that there are significant changes in all
three
Use synonyms
 individual years. Another striking feature is that
snow
Use synonyms
 in April of
year
Use synonyms
two
Use synonyms
 is the highest,
while
Linking Words
 that
of
Change preposition
in
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 December is the lowest. In November, the average
snow
Use synonyms
 depth in
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 one,
two
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
three
Correct word choice
and three
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 fairly the same, with 100
cm
Use synonyms
, under 100
cm
Use synonyms
 and about 110
cm
Use synonyms
 respectively. Over the following
two
Use synonyms
 months, the figure for the middle
year
Use synonyms
 remains the lowest, with around 115
cm
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, compared to 150
cm
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first
year
Use synonyms
 and about 180
cm
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. By
february
Change the capitalization
February
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, these figures have increased dramatically. To be precise, the average
snow
Use synonyms
 depth in
year
Use synonyms
 one has risen to over 425
cm
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, reaching
a
Change the article
the
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 highest point in comparison to the remaining years. Over the following
two
Use synonyms
 months,
year
Use synonyms
two
Use synonyms
 reaches its peak, at around 475
cm
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, exceeding that of 400
cm
Use synonyms
 of
year
Use synonyms
 one and a mere 300
cm
Use synonyms
 of
year
Use synonyms
three
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words snow, three, year, two, cm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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