Some peoplebelieve tha it is essential to include physical eduction classes i the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both biew and give yur own opinion.

#peoplebelieve #tha #eduction #classes #curriculum #children #time #subjects #biew #yur

Change preposition

With

show examples

the advancement of

education

nowadays, various schools and teaching courses in the world encounter enhancement in

edification

Add an article

the edification

show examples

of their students.

This

amelioration generated accountable mindsets that it is essential to include physical

education

classes within the curriculum, whilst on the other side,

sugests

Correct your spelling

suggests

that it is preferable to focus on academic subjects. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views regarding both

point

Change to a plural noun

points

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views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

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Firstly

, maintaining the children's healthcare through physical

education

can be a

prominence

Replace the word

prominent

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method.

According to

my research, physical

education

consists of numerous workouts and sports that can

Submitted by seyyuhhh on Tue Nov 14 2023

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Introduction and Conclusion

The introduction should clearly present the main topic and purpose of the essay. It's important to follow a clear structure with a proper introduction and conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure is somewhat unclear, which affects the coherence of the essay. The points need to be organized in a more systematic way to create a cohesive flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward or inappropriate word choices. It would be beneficial to focus on using more precise and natural expressions.

Grammatical Range

The essay demonstrates a basic control of a range of structures, but there are errors in sentence formation, verb tense, and word usage. Work on improving accuracy and complexity of sentences.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

93 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some peoplebelieve tha it is essential to include physical eduction classes i the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both biew and give yur own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures, youth is considered more important.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Watching television is bad for children. Use specific details and examples to support your answer.

The Internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different. To what extent do you agree or disagree?