Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals believe that
Celebrities
Change noun form
Celebrities'
Celebrity's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
personal
lives
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should not be recorded for the media. In my opinion, the public has no right to know about the various
lives
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of famous individuals. First of all, I have confidence that celebrities should have the choice to not record every single detail of their life if they are not comfortable. Public figures are
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

humans just like everyone else and might not want to share everything with the media.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some well-known individuals are fine with it,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply

It appears that the word but is unnecessary in this sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
not everyone like them is.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they might not accept
to record
Change the verb form
recording

To record doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples
their children's
lives
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they are all right with their independent
lives
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

being recorded
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, It's not safe for them if every minute detail of their life is shared on the internet. If their personal details are leaked,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as home address, phone number, etc.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

could lead to civilians violating the famous person.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if an individual genuinely admires them and obsessively watches them online. The person could gain immense details about them and use it to their advantage for their own evil gains. In conclusion, despite the fact that most celebrities are okay with everything being recorded about them. I contend, that it is better and safer if only their work
lives
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

were shown for entertainment.
Submitted by amnahazfar03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your examples directly relate to the main points to maximize clarity and relevance.
task achievement
Expand on your supporting points to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the issue.
lexical resource
Vary your vocabulary and use more appropriate and precise expressions to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
You possess a good command of grammar and sentence structure. Ensure consistent and accurate use of verb tenses and word forms to further enhance your grammatical range.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Media scrutiny
  • Public persona
  • Personal autonomy
  • Sensationalism
  • Paparazzi
  • Tabloid journalism
  • Right to privacy
  • Mental well-being
  • Public interest
  • Ethical journalism
  • Celebrity culture
  • Gossip columns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: