Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #lives #celebrities #media

Some individuals believe that

Celebrities

Change noun form

Celebrities'

Celebrity's

show examples

personal

lives

should not be recorded for the media. In my opinion, the public has no right to know about the various

lives

of famous individuals. First of all, I have confidence that celebrities should have the choice to not record every single detail of their life if they are not comfortable. Public figures are

also

humans just like everyone else and might not want to share everything with the media.

Although

some well-known individuals are fine with it,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

not everyone like them is.

For example

, they might not accept

to record

Change the verb form

recording

show examples

their children's

lives

however

, they are all right with their independent

lives

being recorded

instead

Secondly

, It's not safe for them if every minute detail of their life is shared on the internet. If their personal details are leaked,

such

as home address, phone number, etc.

This

could lead to civilians violating the famous person.

For instance

, if an individual genuinely admires them and obsessively watches them online. The person could gain immense details about them and use it to their advantage for their own evil gains. In conclusion, despite the fact that most celebrities are okay with everything being recorded about them. I contend, that it is better and safer if only their work

lives

were shown for entertainment.

Submitted by amnahazfar03 on Tue Nov 14 2023

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task achievement

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lexical resource

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grammatical range

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Word Count

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

218 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Invasion of privacy
Media scrutiny
Public persona
Personal autonomy
Sensationalism
Paparazzi
Tabloid journalism
Right to privacy
Mental well-being
Public interest
Ethical journalism
Celebrity culture
Gossip columns

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Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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