Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In
this
century, the human
who trying to Fix the agreement mistake
number of humans
cure
themselves by going to
natural Verb problem
using
medicines
were
increasing Correct subject-verb agreement
was
time
to Change preposition
from time
time
. In my opinion, it is means
negative Change the verb form
means
of
development for Change preposition
apply
country
.
First of all, the choices of alternative Add an article
the country
medicines
make them back to last
century. It can look Correct article usage
the last
how
Change preposition
at how
people
treat themselves for cure
Fix the agreement mistake
cures
from
illnesses using Change preposition
for
herbs
. It because
Add a missing verb
was because
of
there was Change preposition
apply
little
amount of Add an article
a little
the little
medicine
and available doctor
in their place. Now, the number of doctor
and health Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
facility
like Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
hospital
or Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
clinic
Fix the agreement mistake
clinics
was
spreading in Wrong verb form
is
village
and big Fix the agreement mistake
villages
city
. The Fix the agreement mistake
cities
medicine
have
many kinds for different kinds of Change the verb form
has
illness
. That can be choice
by the Correct article usage
a choice
doctor
. Moreover
, nowadays there are kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
doctor
specialist
that can Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
cure
the
Correct article usage
apply
illness
by their specialist of ill.
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
Second,
the time
of cure
the body take
a longer Change the verb form
takes
time
. The reason is, herbs
have Correct word choice
that herbs
slow
reaction in Add an article
a slow
cure of
Replace the word
curing
illness
. It means, somebody
who need more care by their sick need more Correct word choice
that somebody
time
despite the bacteria or viruses spread
in Wrong verb form
spreading
body
and Add an article
the body
became more sick
. Replace the word
becoming sicker
On the other hand
, the development of medicine
became
more patent and can cut Wrong verb form
has become
of
Replace the word
off
the
viruses or bacteria Correct article usage
apply
quickly
than Correct quantifier usage
more quickly
herbs
Replace the word
herbal
medicines
.
On other
hand, Correct article usage
the other
this
can also
have positive development because people
have more knowledge to indicate the disadvantages of chemical medicines
. They do not want the medicines
destroy
the tissues of their body and Add the particle
to destroy
give
side effects for a long Verb problem
cause
time
. It makes people
try to search with their knowledge to
against the bacteria or Change preposition
apply
virus
that spread by using Fix the agreement mistake
viruses
herbs
. Because,
there are many research Remove the comma
apply
also
give advantages by
using Change preposition
to
herb
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
herbs
herbs
became worst
to Correct article usage
the worst
cure
illness
if people
have heavy sick
. Replace the word
sickness
It
is because Correct pronoun usage
This
herbs
not
too qualified and take a Add a missing verb
are not
long
Correct word choice
longer
time
than chemical medicine
. The benefit of herbs
not
as much as chemical Add a missing verb
is not
medicine
that given
by the Add a missing verb
is given
doctor
.Submitted by sastyoke on
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The logical structure throughout the essay is weak, and the introduction and conclusion are lacking in clarity and coherence.
Lexical Resource
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Grammatical Range
The essay lacks proper sentence structure and contains numerous grammatical errors which impede understanding.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.