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Writing Samples
Band 5

beingselfish is considered a reason for job success? Give your opinion. Reasons with examples

#beingselfish #reason #job #success
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The notion that
selfishness
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 is a catalyst for job
success
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 is one I vehemently oppose. In the professional realm,
success
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 is intricately tied to collaboration, a necessity driven by the advantages it brings to businesses and its role in alleviating stress. In the real-world professional setting, collaboration is not just encouraged; it is indispensable. The modern business landscape demands the seamless sharing of knowledge and expertise among
employees
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, making
selfishness
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 a detriment to the organizational culture and the efficiency of business processes. Consider a scenario where the marketing team is tasked with creating a campaign that involves multiple departments—data, product marketing, and digital marketing.
Success
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 in
such
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endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
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 hinges on
employees
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 willingly sharing their insights. Any insistence on independent work would compromise the effectiveness of the campaign.
Consequently
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, it is evident that
selfishness
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 is antithetical to career
success
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.
Moreover
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,
while
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 working independently may boost individual productivity, the prevalence of loneliness in the workplace exacerbates internal stress. Employee well-being is not solely about task completion; it is
also
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 about fostering a healthy and supportive work environment. Recognizing
this
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, established companies often organize team outings to provide
employees
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 with opportunities for relaxation and camaraderie. These initiatives acknowledge the importance of social interactions in stress relief.
Thus
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, the absence of
selfishness
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 among
employees
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 contributes significantly to a positive work atmosphere. In conclusion, the notion of cultivating
selfishness
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 in the professional landscape is fundamentally flawed. True
success
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 is found in collaboration, which maximizes business outcomes and addresses the stressors of the workplace
Submitted by elroivan on

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task response
Ensure a more balanced argument by acknowledging the potential benefits of individualism in the workplace.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a coherent structure but could benefit from a more explicit introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses relevant examples effectively.
grammatical range
The essay displays a mostly accurate and varied use of complex structures, but there are some instances of repetitive phrasing and minor errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Ambitious
  • Driven
  • Motivated
  • Goal-oriented
  • Risk-taker
  • Self-centered
  • Opportunistic
  • Assertive
  • Confident
  • Self-promotion
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