Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are various scientific
subjects
which are developing rapidly. Students who are seeking suitable job
should attend universities to learn them. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Someone
Correct your spelling
Some
gravitates
toward Correct subject-verb agreement
gravitate
this
point that not only do students concentrate on main
subject, but Change the article
the main
also
, they should learn other ones, while
others refute this
view point
and believe that it is virtually important to give their all energy Correct your spelling
viewpoint
on
the main subject and gain a relevant qualification.
On one hand, making knowledge well-diversified is exceedingly crucial in science which changes at a hectic pace. The reason why some students try to learn Change preposition
to
wide
variety of Add an article
a wide
subjects
is the correlation that exists among the different aspects of science. For instance
, people who are
graduated in finance are obsessed with passing courses in artificial intelligence Unnecessary verb
apply
due to
its great function in prediction and data mining in financial markets. Hence
, in order to become a professional and efficient employee, as well as
, using all potentials of subjects
, it is crucial to develop our capabilities by learning different subjects
.
On the other hand
, the quality of learned subjects
must be considered because the more subjects
we learn, the more complex it becomes. In-depth knowledge is the factor that identifies how much it is efficient, which requires a certain level of focus. If we learn different subjects
carelessly, they may lack the requirements for gaining a qualification in addition
to wasting a large amount of energy. With regard to this
point, some support the idea of focusing on the main subject.
Although
both views are reasonable, I personally have bias
Add an article
a bias
to
the former group because it makes students’ brain more flexible and Change preposition
toward
allow
them to confront Change the verb form
allows
with
problems easily.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by amansoore48 on
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task response
The essay partially addresses the given prompt, considering both views and providing a personal opinion. However, the ideas could be developed and expanded further to achieve a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and cohesion due to the disjointed organization of ideas. There is a lack of clear transition between points, and the introduction and conclusion could be more developed.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in the use of more precise and appropriate academic vocabulary. Additionally, sentence structures could be more varied and complex to enhance lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay exhibits a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy, but there are errors in sentence structure and word usage throughout the essay. More complex and varied sentence structures would enhance the grammatical range.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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