Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

There are various scientific

subjects

which are developing rapidly. Students who are seeking suitable

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

should attend universities to learn them.

Someone

Correct your spelling

Some

show examples

gravitates

Correct subject-verb agreement

gravitate

show examples

toward

this

point that not only do students concentrate on

main

Change the article

the main

show examples

subject, but

also

, they should learn other ones,

while

others refute

this

view point

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

show examples

and believe that it is virtually important to give their all energy

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show examples

the main subject and gain a relevant qualification. On one hand, making knowledge well-diversified is exceedingly crucial in science which changes at a hectic pace. The reason why some students try to learn

wide

Add an article

a wide

show examples

variety of

subjects

is the correlation that exists among the different aspects of science.

For instance

, people who

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

graduated in finance are obsessed with passing courses in artificial intelligence

due to

its great function in prediction and data mining in financial markets.

Hence

, in order to become a professional and efficient employee,

as well as

, using all potentials of

subjects

, it is crucial to develop our capabilities by learning different

subjects

On the other hand

, the quality of learned

subjects

must be considered because the more

subjects

we learn, the more complex it becomes. In-depth knowledge is the factor that identifies how much it is efficient, which requires a certain level of focus. If we learn different

subjects

carelessly, they may lack the requirements for gaining a qualification

in addition

to wasting a large amount of energy. With regard to

this

point, some support the idea of focusing on the main subject.

Although

both views are reasonable, I personally have

bias

Add an article

a bias

show examples

Change preposition

toward

show examples

the former group because it makes students’ brain more flexible and

allow

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allows

show examples

them to confront

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

problems easily.

Submitted by amansoore48 on Tue Nov 14 2023

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task response

The essay partially addresses the given prompt, considering both views and providing a personal opinion. However, the ideas could be developed and expanded further to achieve a more complete response.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks coherence and cohesion due to the disjointed organization of ideas. There is a lack of clear transition between points, and the introduction and conclusion could be more developed.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in the use of more precise and appropriate academic vocabulary. Additionally, sentence structures could be more varied and complex to enhance lexical resource.

grammatical range

The essay exhibits a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy, but there are errors in sentence structure and word usage throughout the essay. More complex and varied sentence structures would enhance the grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many believe that learning a language at an early age is better while others think such language should be taught later. discuss both views and give your opinion.

These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

•In many places, prisons are overcrowded and expensive for governments to maintain. Yet, when offenders are released, they end up back in prison a short while later. Do prisons work? Should law-breakers be rehabilitated or punished?

Our personalities are pre-determined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree?