Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other believe that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.
While
it is argued by some that advertisements have been playing a key role in convincing (the) consumers, others believe that advertising has recently become so frequent, that it cannot entice the costumer's
attention. I firmly believe that companies have been increasing and maintaining their sales market by applying up-to-date methods of advertising, rather than abandoning Correct your spelling
customer's
it
.
Admittedly, there are several reasons why some people consider advertising an unviable way of persuading individuals to shop. When we are exposed to numerous, repeated advertisements Correct pronoun usage
them
while
driving, listening to a podcast, watching our favourite movie or listening to the radio, we may find them more distracting rather than being encouraged to buy that specific stuff. On that occasion, we might rather skip that advertisement or purchase a premium account for what specific platform to avoid watching these contents. Furthermore
, it is proved that drivers are easily distracted by being captivated by billboards, installed in the high-ways
which have led to many deadly collisions.
Correct your spelling
highways
On the other hand
, I believe that, several companies who are reigning Change preposition
in the
the
realm of marketing have been using modern methods of advertising by including their adverts in some other platforms, which are individually created for Change preposition
in the
this
purpose to ensure the efficiency of the way they are representing their products. To illustrate, although
Instagram, as of one the most popular social platforms was initially
designed for sharing photos and videos, its developers have added a purchasing option to the online shop pages. Thus
, not only users do not find these advertisements distracting anymore, but also
it has paved the way for both clients and shops to interact more easily and conveniently.
In conclusion, although
many individuals consider advertising an obsolete system of making buying persuasions, as they are very common, from my viewpoint, since companies as well as
developers have recently made some changes in its fundamentals, advertising has successfully survived even during this
modern era.Submitted by parvizrashidi on
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Task Response
Your essay shows a clear understanding of the topic and provides a balanced argument. However, there is room for improvement in expanding on your ideas and providing more specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is a need for better organization of ideas within paragraphs and smoother transitions between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary and phrasing is appropriate, but you can enhance your lexical resource by utilizing a wider range of vocabulary and expressions to add depth and precision to your points.
Grammatical Range
Your essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures and shows varied and accurate use of sentence structures and verb tenses. However, pay attention to article usage and word choice to avoid minor errors.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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