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Writing Samples
Band 7

One of the major problems that face today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory houses for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

#face #today’s #governments #houses #populations #whilst #environment
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In the modern world, the population is growing at a fast pace, and it becomes a challenge that governments are facing which leads to a scarcity of space to build houses. The authorities should provide adequate houses
while
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also
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 preserving the environment. In my view, I believe that the ministry that constructs green buildings acceptable to society is a great strategy. The augmented population puts a strain on the lodging place sector.
To begin
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, It is evident that technology has become crucial in our lives, so effective
use
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 of resources and technology may create satisfactory individuals,
such
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 as solar
as well as
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 wind power can generate electricity.
Secondly
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, architects should
use
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 less energy and produce less waste to become eco-friendly.
Thirdly
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, we can take advantage of natural light by using transparent windows.
Moreover
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, generates new places for residents to
use
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 space which sometimes they need to cut down the trees, so in my opinion I think the administration should create the law that residents need to promote the ecosystem by surrounding with the trees.
In addition
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, increasing the height of the building will
also
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use
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 less land area. As it will propose both of providing houses.
Lastly
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, collaboration between the union sector, developers as well and communities is very crucial. In conclusion, today's states face obstacles
such
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 as providing their citizens with sufficient apartments
while
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 putting effort into saving the environment. I am of the perspective that the new green living place with green materials where the inhabitants are satisfied to live is indeed good for both citizens and the natural world.
Submitted by Jinyada5910 on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the task, but the response lacks depth and clarity.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is generally clear, but there are some instances of unclear progression of ideas.
lexial resource
The range of vocabulary is adequate, but there is room for improvement in the use of academic and descriptive language.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a reasonable control of grammar, but there are errors in sentence structure and verb tense consistency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • major problems
  • satisfactory houses
  • increasing populations
  • protect the environment
  • strain on
  • housing sector
  • sustainable
  • eco-friendly housing
  • efficient
  • resources
  • technology
  • affordability
  • accessibility
  • considered
  • collaboration
  • government
  • developers
  • communities
  • crucial
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