It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is argued that
individuals
should take
risks
in either their professional or personal lives.
This
essay would argue that
although
people
may fail when taking
risks
, they are able to learn from their
failures
,
this
means, that the advantages of taking
risks
outweigh the drawbacks. The main disadvantage of taking
risks
is that
people
may lose everything that they have invested in the
proyect
Correct your spelling
project
or activity. Sometimes is difficult for
individuals
to face
failures
, and when
this
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
, they will doubt
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can cause
mental-health
Correct your spelling
mental health
show examples
problems,
such
as depression.
Also
, these
people
won't try anything new
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the rest of their lives, because they do not want to face another failure.
For instance
, in Spain, around 80% of businessmen who opened their first business failed, and approximately 60% of them were not able to face it.
However
, I believe
people
always take small
risks
when deciding to do one thing or the other, is just that sometimes
people
do not realize that they are taking
risks
,
then
,
this
is not a significant drawback.
On the other hand
, the big advantage is that
people
can learn from their
failures
.
People
need to take
risks
to know if the decision that they have made is correct or not, and in case
that
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
is wrong, they can look for the reason.
Individuals
should analyze the feedback that they are given, so they can improve the weak areas, so in the future they can
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
.
For instance
, many large companies,
such
as Amazon, did not succeed in their first try, they worked for years to improve their application and gain consumers. I believe that
this
point of view is preferable, despite
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
need to make more effort. In conclusion,
although
individuals
will not always succeed after taking
risks
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
they can learn from their
failures
and not repeat them in the future, for these reasons, the advantages far outnumber the drawbacks.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically organized within each paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points, and ensure that they are clearly connected to your arguments.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas in a more precise and varied manner. Avoid repetition of the same words or phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and use a variety of sentence types to demonstrate a range of grammatical structures. Check for subject-verb agreement and use of punctuation.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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