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Band 2.5

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems📍

#overpopulation #areas #problems📍
Many
people
 are constantly
traveling
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travelling
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 from rural areas to
cities
 for better opportunities.
Researches
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Research
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 show that overcrowding problem of urban areas can cause numerous
of
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apply
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disease
pollutions
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pollution
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 and other problems There are a plethora of problems occurring by an excess of
people
 in urban areas.
Firstly
s
Verb problem
apply
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road congestion in developed
cities
.
For example
, an increase in the number of
people
excessive
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with excessive
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 use of private vehicles and public transport.
As a result
 of more traffic congestion road accidents and air pollution increase.
Secondly
 the cost of living increases because of overcrowded in big
cities
. If there are many children, they
also
 have educational disabilities In terms of solutions University
College
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Colleges
show examples
 school should build a lot and try to give students a good education, It is necessary to expand the roads and open new bridges All in all,
people
 moving from the country to the city are making
cities
 more crowded and causing a lot of problems for the
people
 who live there. The government and individuals working together and taking responsibility for the change can solve them. Let's try our best to maintain our health
Submitted by marina.parmenova on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and logical structure. The arguments are presented in a disorganized manner, with several ideas that are not well-connected. There's a need to improve the organization of the essay by using clear paragraphing and more appropriate linking words.
task achievement
The main points need to be more clearly supported. Provide more relevant examples and evidence to illustrate the presented arguments. Additionally, the conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a clear ending to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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