Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative

Crime

has become a huge problem in the world.

While

some

people

think

criminals

should stay longer in

prison

, other

people

have different

oipinions

Correct your spelling

opinions

. Some

people

claim that longer

prison

sentences are the best way to reduce

crime

due to

the fact that before

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

crime

most

people

will think twice.

For example

, when

people

try to steal from someone, they will think about the consequences to see if it is worth it. In that case, they might realize how serious it would be and change their ideal.

On the other hand

, if

people

commit a small

crime

and get a longer

prison

sentence punishment, after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison

the criminal might lose

Rephrase

apply

show examples

social skills. In that case, they couldn’t communicate ion with

people

, and

crimes

might commit a

crime

again.

However

, others believe that there are

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

better alternatives.

For example

, giving

criminals

rehabilitation programs so

crimes

can do some useful work for

society

. Or give

criminals

targets to make sure they are learning new skills so they realize that they do not

’t

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have to commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

and still can make money.

On the other hand

, if we give every offender a quick second chance, the problem will get

big

Correct word choice

bigger

show examples

due to

no one being afraid is afraid to go to

prison

. I believe that different

crimes

should be dealt with differently. Violent

criminals

should be

sepaerated

Correct your spelling

separated

from

society

because they are dangerous but they should still receive

counseling

Change the spelling

counselling

show examples

and therapy to make sure they are steady.

Non violent

Add a hyphen

Non-violent

show examples

offenders should be put in the programs and learn new skills so that after

prison

they can find a job easily.

Also

,the government should encourage

society

to give them a second chance to work and

also

keep an eye on their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

for at least a

while

To sum up

although

each point has different benefits, I do believe that different

crimes

need different

punishment

Fix the agreement mistake

punishments

show examples

. Government and

society

should help together to reduce

crime

problems.

Submitted by kimi080810 on Tue Nov 14 2023

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Task Response

The essay addresses both views but lacks clarity and depth in the discussion. The main points are not well-supported with relevant examples.

Coherence and cohesion

The logical structure is somewhat effective, but there is a lack of coherence and cohesion in the organization of ideas. The essay needs better use of linking words and clearer paragraph development.

Lexical Resource

There is a range of vocabulary used, but some inaccuracies and awkward word choices are present. Use of more precise and academic vocabulary is recommended.

Grammatical Range

The essay demonstrates some control of grammar and sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction. More complex sentence structures and accurate use of tenses is needed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some students like to take distance-learning courses by computer. Other students prefer to study in traditional classroom settings with a teacher. Consider the advantages of both options, and make an argument for the way the students should organise their schedule.

Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it's bad for them. Why is this? What is an effective way to improve people's healthy eating habits?

Increasing the price is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think that the parents of children who commit crimes should also receive a punishment . To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?