Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative

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Crime

Use synonyms

has become a huge problem in the world.

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

think

criminals

Use synonyms

should stay longer in

prison

Use synonyms

, other

people

Use synonyms

have different

oipinions

Correct your spelling

opinions

. Some

people

Use synonyms

claim that longer

prison

Use synonyms

sentences are the best way to reduce

crime

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

the fact that before

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

crime

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most

people

Use synonyms

will think twice.

For example

Linking Words

, when

people

Use synonyms

try to steal from someone, they will think about the consequences to see if it is worth it. In that case, they might realize how serious it would be and change their ideal.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, if

people

Use synonyms

commit a small

crime

Use synonyms

and get a longer

prison

Use synonyms

sentence punishment, after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison

Use synonyms

the criminal might lose

Rephrase

apply

show examples

social skills. In that case, they couldn’t communicate ion with

people

Use synonyms

, and

crimes

Use synonyms

might commit a

crime

Use synonyms

again.

However

Linking Words

, others believe that there are

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

better alternatives.

For example

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, giving

criminals

Use synonyms

rehabilitation programs so

crimes

Use synonyms

can do some useful work for

society

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. Or give

criminals

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targets to make sure they are learning new skills so they realize that they do not

’t

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have to commit

Use synonyms

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

and still can make money.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, if we give every offender a quick second chance, the problem will get

big

Correct word choice

bigger

show examples

due to

Linking Words

no one being afraid is afraid to go to

prison

Use synonyms

. I believe that different

crimes

Use synonyms

should be dealt with differently. Violent

criminals

Use synonyms

should be

sepaerated

Correct your spelling

separated

from

society

Use synonyms

because they are dangerous but they should still receive

counseling

Change the spelling

counselling

show examples

and therapy to make sure they are steady.

Non violent

Add a hyphen

Non-violent

show examples

offenders should be put in the programs and learn new skills so that after

prison

Use synonyms

they can find a job easily.

Also

Linking Words

,the government should encourage

society

Use synonyms

to give them a second chance to work and

also

Linking Words

keep an eye on their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

for at least a

while

Linking Words

To sum up

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

each point has different benefits, I do believe that different

crimes

Use synonyms

need different

punishment

Fix the agreement mistake

punishments

show examples

. Government and

society

Use synonyms

should help together to reduce

crime

Use synonyms

problems.

Submitted by kimi080810 on Tue Nov 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

The essay addresses both views but lacks clarity and depth in the discussion. The main points are not well-supported with relevant examples.

Coherence and cohesion

The logical structure is somewhat effective, but there is a lack of coherence and cohesion in the organization of ideas. The essay needs better use of linking words and clearer paragraph development.

Lexical Resource

There is a range of vocabulary used, but some inaccuracies and awkward word choices are present. Use of more precise and academic vocabulary is recommended.

Grammatical Range

The essay demonstrates some control of grammar and sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction. More complex sentence structures and accurate use of tenses is needed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

327 words

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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports faculties . Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

oos are sometimes seen as necessary but poor alternatives to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos as an IELTS topic and give your own opinion.

Animal testing has a positive impact on scientific research, but it can have a negative effect on animals and lead to financial waste. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of animal experimentation.

Sending spacecraft and astronauts into space is very expensive. It would be better for governments to use the money spent on space exploration to improve the quality of life on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?