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Writing Samples
Band 6

In the last century the first man to walk on the moon said it was a great step for mankind . But in fact space travel has made little difference to most people lives today . To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#century #first #man #moon #step #mankind #fact #space #travel #difference #people #lives
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A couple of decades ago, there were a
lot
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 of
people
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 who tried to reach the
moon
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. It was a huge achievement for the country too. Today,
this
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 activity seems usual for
people
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. There are several factors that affect
this
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 condition. In the past,
people
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 who were walking on the
moon
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 were a strange point. Humans thought that it was impossible to fly away to the
moon
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. It needed modern technology and huge money to build a spacecraft.
Besides
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,
people
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 had to wear special uniforms to adapt to the
moon
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’s condition.
Then
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, companies or even
countries
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 challenged their capabilities to reach the
moon
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’s surface for the first time. They could do some
research
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 about the
moon
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 and it was a great step for mankind.
This
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research
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 about the
moon
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 is still needed by science and humankind today. To illustrate, the
moon
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's eclipse will have an impact on sea level and it will forecast the weather.
Then
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, the fisherman can know the good and bad conditions of fishing in the middle of the sea.
However
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, there is a
lot
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 of mystery about the
moon
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 that has not cracked yet.
On the other hand
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, today, a
lot
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 of
countries
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 are bored with doing the same things as a decade before. They try to develop new
research
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 and shift their goals.
For example
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, they will search for a new
earth
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 so
people
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 can migrate from
Earth
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 to a new planet.
Besides
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, researchers focus on the space debris that will have an impact on the
Earth
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's surface. They learn and analyse how big an impact is if these objects collide with the
earth
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. Another example, many
countries
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 focus on space defence so they can protect their
people
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 and assets. In conclusion, I disagree with
people
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 who are bored talking about walking on the
moon
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 because there are a
lot
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 of
people
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 from several
countries
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 who have reached it. The
moon
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 itself has a huge enigma so we have to solve it and do some
research
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. The result will help humankind to develop something beneficial in the future.
Submitted by irhamtaufiqurrahman on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Organize the essay more clearly by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas. Develop a stronger introduction and conclusion to frame the essay effectively.
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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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