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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
No Pain, No Gain is a saying related to risk-taking and its benefits. In
this
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 information era, it is more crucial for
people
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 to take
risks
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, both in their professional
lives
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 and their personal
lives
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. Taking
risks
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 can
happen
Verb problem
result in
show examples
 either positive or negative outcomes. From my point of view, I firmly believe that the wonderful results of taking
risks
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 outweigh its negative impacts.
Body paragraph 1
Taking
risks
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 can shape a brighter future. In professional careers,
people
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 could get many opportunities
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as getting a promotion, changing to a better career or entrepreneur a new business by taking the possible
risks
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 when performing the position. Actually, human begins with risky action from the beginning of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
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like
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, like
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walking
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walking,
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 to fight the rest of
the whole
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their lives
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life
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.
People
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 are taking the affordable risk for improvement of building competency, personal growth and capacity development in their daily
lives
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, nobody possesses a satisfying and outstanding
life
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 without taking any kind of
risks
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.
Body paragraph 2
Even though avoiding
risks
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 can maintain a stable, safe and comfortable environment, it doesn’t have
no
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any
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 improvement in personal or professional
lives
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. Even
people
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 working in the same role in the same environment have
a
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apply
show examples
professional growth
but
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, but
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 they still have a lot of unchanged and
unopen
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unopened
 mindset in their personal
life
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. In personal
life
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,
people
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 who are afraid of getting relationship with
opposite
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the opposite
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 gender
, they
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apply
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 don’t have the chance to get wonderful family
life
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.
Conclusion
In summary,
although
Linking Words
 taking risky actions or making risky decisions may face many possible and predictable
risks
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,
its
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their
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 results and benefits outweigh the drawbacks of avoiding
risks
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
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 should take some
challengeable
Correct your spelling
challenging
risks
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 and gain more
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfying
 and meaningful
lives
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 for their brighter future.

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task response
State your view in a direct way at the start: the good points are greater than the bad points. Then give two clear reasons why.
task response
Explain each main idea more fully. For example, say what risk a worker may take, what may happen, and why this can lead to a better work life.
task response
Use real or clear made-up examples. A worker may leave a safe job to start a small business; a person may move to a new city to build a new life. Show both the possible loss and the likely gain.
task response
Discuss the bad side of risk more fairly before you say why it is less important. Risk can cause loss of money, stress, or harm to close ties. Then explain that careful planning can lower these risks.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, one work-life paragraph, one personal-life paragraph, and conclusion. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make one main point in each body paragraph. The first body paragraph now has many ideas, such as promotion, a new job, business, growth, and life from birth. Keep only ideas that support one point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with clear words such as “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “Therefore”. Do not use a link word unless the next idea clearly follows.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear or very broad lines, such as the idea that all human life starts with risk. Use direct links to work and personal life instead.
task response
You give a clear view that taking risks can bring more good than harm, and you write about both work life and personal life.
task response
The essay includes useful ideas about promotion, a new career, starting a business, self-growth, and family life.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The final paragraph clearly restates your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You try to show both sides by using “Even though” and “although”, which helps the reader see the contrast.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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