IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today people are travelling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

#people #case #traveller
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that
people
 nowadays are travelling more than in the past.
This
 essay would argue that the reason why
this
 happens, is because of globalization and the improvement of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
,
this
 allows
people
 to
travel
 easily, and the
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 of
this
 development is that individuals can know new
cultures
. Nowadays, is easier for
people
 to
travel
 from one place to another. In the past, it was difficult to
travel
 because there were only trains and boats, which only could
travel
 short distances, and if they wanted to go far away, they needed to spend several weeks or even months to get to their destination. Now, there are aeroplanes flying every day to different parts of the world, and because of globalization, there are only a few
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
 and rules for travelling to other countries.
For instance
,
people
 with Spanish
passport
Fix the agreement mistake
passports
show examples
 can
travel
 to all European countries without a VISA, except the United Kingdom. Travelling with friends,
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
people
 to know better each other and
stronger
Replace the word
strengthen
show examples
 the relationship between them, since it is an experience that they may have only once in life. One of the main benefits of travelling is that it allows
people
 to know and experience different
cultures
. Learning about religions and
cultures
 will allow individuals to have more knowledge about life in other nations,
also
,
people
 can improve their language skills when they meet native
people
.
For example
, most Chinese
people
 when they need to learn English
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will opt to
travel
 to countries
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 their native language is English, and
as a consequence
, their English improve quicker than those who studied in China. In conclusion, the reason why more
people
 are travelling around
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is because there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 better
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 and by travelling,
people
 can learn
new
Change preposition
about new
show examples
cultures
 and religions.s
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details to enhance the logical structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points and the overall argument of the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
grammatical range
Work on using a variety of sentence structures, and pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and word order to enhance grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economy pricing
  • Cultural exchange
  • International business
  • Heritage sites
  • Cosmopolitan
  • Global citizen
  • Study abroad
  • Standard of living
  • Destination
  • Itinerary
  • Online bookings
  • Digital nomad
  • Bucket list
  • Sustainable travel
  • Eco-tourism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: