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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates how much money was spent on watching films in 3 primary forms namely cinemas, DVDs and legal download as well as the percentage split among the three forms given in the pie charts.

The line graph illustrates how much money was spent on watching films in 3 primary forms namely cinemas, DVDs and legal download as well as the percentage split among the three forms given in the pie charts.
#line #money #films #forms #cinemas #dvds #download #percentage #split #three
The following line graph and pie chart provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
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data on the prices of
cinema
 tickets , DVDs and legal downloads over the span of years and the difference
on
Change preposition
in
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 their market shares in 2005 and 2011. Looking from an
overall
 perspective, the cost
for
Change preposition
of
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 the tickets
of
Change preposition
to
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cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
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 is higher than the other 2 sections throughout the years .
While
 renting a DVD maintained its
leader
Replace the word
leading
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 position, the indicators for legal downloads increased significantly in 2011. Delving into the details, the value of
cinema
 tickets was over 8 dollars in 2005 and raised up to 14 dollars over the years.
However
, the figures for DVD and legal downloads were below 8 dollars and
fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
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 just
reached
Verb problem
apply
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over 8 in 2011. Shifting the focus to the second illustration, 64 per cent of
market
Correct article usage
the market
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 share
was belong
Wrong verb form
belonged
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 to the DVD segment in 2005 and again the proportions
was
Change the verb form
were
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 over 50
pe
Correct your spelling
per
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 cent in 2015. The percentages fell from 30 to18 for the
cinema
 sector, representing a significant decrease.
Furthermore
, a 26 per cent surge is observed in the online film sector.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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