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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates how much money was spent on watching films in 3 primary forms namely cinemas, DVDs and legal download as well as the percentage split among the three forms given in the pie charts.

The line graph illustrates how much money was spent on watching films in 3 primary forms namely cinemas, DVDs and legal download as well as the percentage split among the three forms given in the pie charts.
#line #money #films #forms #cinemas #dvds #download #percentage #split #three
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The following line graph and pie chart provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data on the prices of
cinema
Use synonyms
 tickets , DVDs and legal downloads over the span of years and the difference
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their market shares in 2005 and 2011. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, the cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the tickets
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
 is higher than the other 2 sections throughout the years .
While
Linking Words
 renting a DVD maintained its
leader
Replace the word
leading
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 position, the indicators for legal downloads increased significantly in 2011. Delving into the details, the value of
cinema
Use synonyms
 tickets was over 8 dollars in 2005 and raised up to 14 dollars over the years.
However
Linking Words
, the figures for DVD and legal downloads were below 8 dollars and
fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 just
reached
Verb problem
apply
show examples
over 8 in 2011. Shifting the focus to the second illustration, 64 per cent of
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
 share
was belong
Wrong verb form
belonged
show examples
 to the DVD segment in 2005 and again the proportions
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 over 50
pe
Correct your spelling
per
show examples
 cent in 2015. The percentages fell from 30 to18 for the
cinema
Use synonyms
 sector, representing a significant decrease.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a 26 per cent surge is observed in the online film sector.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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