IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Theme: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

#theme #countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside
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Many countries around the globe have a tendency that rural
people
Use synonyms
 are moving to
cities
Use synonyms
 and the population of the countryside is going down.I think,that
this
Linking Words
 development has both good and bad sides about it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, here
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will think about
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 for that and both
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 and positive sides of the tendency. To start with,migration to big
cities
Use synonyms
 is not done just for being modern or
live
Replace the word
living
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 among 'better'
people
Use synonyms
,but
also
Linking Words
 for more advantages for an individual themself.
For example
Linking Words
,better transportation or more vacancies can be a crucial benefit for some young adults,which look for
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 futuristic place to live in than their countryside.
Additionally
Linking Words
,it is evident that youngsters nowadays want to live in the city more than they want to live even in
province
Correct article usage
a province
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,it has a lot of disadvantages,especially for rural areas' citizens.As
people
Use synonyms
 move to
cities
Use synonyms
 the quantity of
people
Use synonyms
 is going down and has
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 consequences.
Thus
Linking Words
,more and more
people
Use synonyms
 want to leave those places and relocate to big megapolises.
As a result
Linking Words
,we get overpopulated
cities
Use synonyms
,which cause many problems for local governments as traffic jams and air pollution,and abandoned countryside,which do not boost the economy as they could.
To sum up
Linking Words
,the migration of many citizens to bigger
cities
Use synonyms
 causes many negative developments and problems with
environment
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the environment
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,which we can see even now.
Besides
Linking Words
, if nothing
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 done and the trend
will remain
Wrong verb form
remains
show examples
 we can get even more overpopulated megapolises and
downfall
Correct article usage
the downfall
show examples
 of residential
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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,which will lead to
inability
Correct article usage
the inability
show examples
 to live there.
Submitted by mrtwaterr on

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overall
The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more clearly structured. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic and supporting sentences. Use linking words and transition signals to improve coherence and cohesion. Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure to avoid errors and improve grammatical accuracy.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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