IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You are going on a month training programme to the UK and know that the head of the course would like one of the participants to be the social events' organiser. Write a letter to the Training Organiser. In your letter • expressing your interest in the role • requesting more information about it • explaining what experience you have

#month #programme #uk #head #course #participants #events #organiser #interest #role #information
Dear Sir/Madam I am writing to apply for the social event's organizer which you need some participants to be. I have been working in public relations for 10 years.
Therefore
, I am very interested in playing a role as a speaker.
According to
 my work which I have done for a long time, I really enjoyed talking to people and persuading them to attend the events. I would like to ask you for additional information in order to give me more understanding of my role. Especially, I was wondering if you could provide me with the aspects of people who will join
this
 program,
this
 includes the data involving numbers, sex, age and so on. As I mentioned in the above paragraph, I have plenty of experience with building good interaction by talking to people. Following my background, I am quite sure that I can perform my duty and bring more benefits to your events. I hope you will take my letter into consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Victor
Submitted by mahawichet on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph presents a single, clear idea to strengthen paragraph structure.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow between paragraphs could be improved with better use of cohesive devices.
task achievement
Your response indicates an understanding of the task, but more specific details and examples could strengthen the response.
task achievement
While the tone is mostly suitable, a more formal sign-off would be appropriate for this context.
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