IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
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Some say that
people
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
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 where they studied and trained,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that individuals are free to choose where they want to go.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that
although
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countries
Use synonyms
do
Verb problem
make
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 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of effort to train these
people
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,
people
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 have the right to choose where they want to
work
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 because they have their own dreams. On the one hand, teachers spend
large
Change the article
a large
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 amount of time teaching what they know to the students. Some professions like doctors, scientists and engineers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
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 many years.
Then
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, governments spend a
lot
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 of money and time to train and prepare them so
in
Correct word choice
that in
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 the future they can do something that could help the
country
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. If they
work
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 in other
countries
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 the nation where they have studied will lose the reputation and
also
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 a good professional.
For example
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, many famous Chinese scientists went to the United States to
study
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 their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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, after graduating they went back to China, but almost no one knows where they studied.
However
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, in my opinion,
people
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 pay large
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of money to
study
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, so
countries
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 have
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
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 enough funds from the students.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 are free to choose what they want to do. Sometimes
people
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have wasted
Wrong verb form
waste
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 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of money to travel to other
countries
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
,
this
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 can be because of the better reputation of the university or the
country
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 from where they come from
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not have classes related to the career. So the only option they have is to
study
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 in other nations and
then
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 go back to their
country
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, in
this
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 way, education in their
country
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 can improve.
For instance
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, some developing and
no developed
Verb problem
underdeveloped
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countries
Use synonyms
 do not have engineering careers because are very difficult areas, so
people
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 only can travel to other nations to
study
Use synonyms
the
Change the word
their
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. I believe that allowing
people
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 where they want will improve education
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all
countries
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. In conclusion,
although
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countries
Use synonyms
 spend a
lot
Use synonyms
 of time teaching and training
people
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, they have the right to follow their dreams or get back to their
countries
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a basic level of coherence and cohesion, but the logical structure could be improved. Make sure your ideas are presented in a clear and organized manner, with proper transitions between points.
task achievement
While you provide a response to the task, the development of your ideas could be more thorough. Try to expand on your points and provide deeper analysis of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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