Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Owing to the necessity of health prioritization, there is no doubt that ensuring low levels of
sugar
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in our
diet
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is crucial for reducing serious risks. it is a commonly held belief that expensive sugary products can pose positive effects.
However
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, there is
also
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an argument that opposes
this
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idea. In my opinion, I am convinced that maintaining a healthy
sugar
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level despite the costs is essential for better well-being and a healthy life.
To begin
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with, it is widely known that obstacles are linked with satisfaction in maintaining a proper
diet
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with targeted needs of calories.
In other words
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, individuals may not commit to a healthy
diet
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containing low sugars
due to
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improper habits.
For example
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, individuals who start the morning with sweets
instead
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of proper food
such
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as proteins on fibres will face vital health issues
such
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as diabetes. Another point to consider, it can be quite a challenge related to financial stability when it comes to sugary products' higher cost. It is
also
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possible to say that insufficient balance should be considered
instead
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of encouraging.
For instance
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, deserts will be harder to make for poor families.
On the other hand
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, elevating sugary products may demonstrably contribute to positive effects in encouraging individuals to use less
sugar
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in their daily lives.
To conclude
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, despite the existence of different views, I strongly agree with consuming less
sugar
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either by elevating sugary product prices or by managing proper habits and lifestyle in order to encourage a healthy
diet
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and reduce serious health problems

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to help guide the reader through your main points.
task achievement
Make sure to support your arguments with more specific examples and evidence to enhance your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Polish your grammar and punctuation (e.g., capitalize 'It' at the start of the second sentence) to improve the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction and maintain a consistent viewpoint throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of linking words such as 'to begin with' and 'on the other hand' helps structure your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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