You recently visited a museum with your old friend and some difficulties during the visit. Write a letter to museum management Why you visited the museum What the problem was What can be done to solve this problem

#museum #friend #difficulties #visit #management

Dear Mona, My name is Gurpinder and I am writing

this

letter to express my concern regarding a few problems that the visitor are facing during their visit to the museum, nowadays.

To begin

with, me and my friend visited yesterday around 2 p.m. She came from abroad after completing her studies. We were excited to meet each other.

Therefore

, we planned to refresh some moments that we spent together in our childhood, especially in

this

beautiful building.

Moreover

, she is doing some research on the historical monuments and she wants to do her research on

this

monument.

Although

we enjoyed our company, there have been a few things that are not working properly.

Firstly

, some tube lights are not working properly. In fact, it was so dark to see things around the corner.

Secondly

, there was no exit sign which confused not only us but to the other visitors.

Lastly

, there was no security guard who could control the wrong activities of the public

such

as graffiti.

To conclude

this

issue can be mitigated by using appropriate methods namely, there should be a couple of cameras

as well as

security guards to protect the museum.

Moreover

, the lights should be repaired on time for a better look.

In addition

, there would be proper signs of entrance and exit to save their time and explore properly. I hope

this

helps. Please let me know if you need any

further

information. Yours sincerely, Gurpinder Kaur

Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on Wed Nov 15 2023

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task response

Provide more specific details about the museum visit and the problems faced. Address the issue of noise and disruptions caused by other visitors for a more comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

Organize the letter more clearly by separating the main points into distinct paragraphs. Additionally, use more cohesive devices such as linking words to connect ideas and improve overall coherence.

lexical resource

Expand the range of vocabulary used and consider using more precise and varied expressions to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and punctuation, and use a wider range of grammatical structures to demonstrate greater control of the language.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

244 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You recently visited a museum with your old friend and some difficulties during the visit. Write a letter to museum management Why you visited the museum What the problem was What can be done to solve this problem

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Museum and Art Galleries should concentrate on work that show history and culture of their own country rather than work of the other part in the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth.

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.