You recently visited a museum with your old friend and some difficulties during the visit. Write a letter to museum management Why you visited the museum What the problem was What can be done to solve this problem

#museum #friend #difficulties #visit #management

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Dear Mona, My name is Gurpinder and I am writing

this

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letter to express my concern regarding a few problems that the visitor are facing during their visit to the museum, nowadays.

To begin

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with, me and my friend visited yesterday around 2 p.m. She came from abroad after completing her studies. We were excited to meet each other.

Therefore

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, we planned to refresh some moments that we spent together in our childhood, especially in

this

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beautiful building.

Moreover

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, she is doing some research on the historical monuments and she wants to do her research on

this

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monument.

Although

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we enjoyed our company, there have been a few things that are not working properly.

Firstly

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, some tube lights are not working properly. In fact, it was so dark to see things around the corner.

Secondly

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, there was no exit sign which confused not only us but to the other visitors.

Lastly

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, there was no security guard who could control the wrong activities of the public

such

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as graffiti.

To conclude

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this

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issue can be mitigated by using appropriate methods namely, there should be a couple of cameras

as well as

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security guards to protect the museum.

Moreover

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, the lights should be repaired on time for a better look.

In addition

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, there would be proper signs of entrance and exit to save their time and explore properly. I hope

this

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helps. Please let me know if you need any

further

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information. Yours sincerely, Gurpinder Kaur

Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on Wed Nov 15 2023

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task response

Provide more specific details about the museum visit and the problems faced. Address the issue of noise and disruptions caused by other visitors for a more comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

Organize the letter more clearly by separating the main points into distinct paragraphs. Additionally, use more cohesive devices such as linking words to connect ideas and improve overall coherence.

lexical resource

Expand the range of vocabulary used and consider using more precise and varied expressions to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and punctuation, and use a wider range of grammatical structures to demonstrate greater control of the language.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

244 words

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You recently visited a museum with your old friend and some difficulties during the visit. Write a letter to museum management Why you visited the museum What the problem was What can be done to solve this problem

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Your friend wants to send her/his child to learn music. He/she asked you for some information about the music academy that you went to. Write him/her a letter. You should: - Describe the music school - Suggest a teacher or a class to go to - Explain why you recommend it.

Too much emphasis to given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreighn language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, governments are encouraging businesses and industries to move to regional areas outside big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?