You recently visited a museum with your old friend and some difficulties during the visit. Write a letter to museum management Why you visited the museum What the problem was What can be done to solve this problem

Dear Mona, My name is Gurpinder and I am writing
letter to express my concern regarding a few problems that the visitor are facing during their visit to the museum, nowadays.
To begin
with, me and my friend visited yesterday around 2 p.m. She came from abroad after completing her studies. We were excited to meet each other.
, we planned to refresh some moments that we spent together in our childhood, especially in
beautiful building.
, she is doing some research on the historical monuments and she wants to do her research on
we enjoyed our company, there have been a few things that are not working properly.
, some tube lights are not working properly. In fact, it was so dark to see things around the corner.
, there was no exit sign which confused not only us but to the other visitors.
, there was no security guard who could control the wrong activities of the public
as graffiti.
To conclude
issue can be mitigated by using appropriate methods namely, there should be a couple of cameras
as well as
security guards to protect the museum.
, the lights should be repaired on time for a better look.
In addition
, there would be proper signs of entrance and exit to save their time and explore properly. I hope
helps. Please let me know if you need any
information. Yours sincerely, Gurpinder Kaur
Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on

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task response
Provide more specific details about the museum visit and the problems faced. Address the issue of noise and disruptions caused by other visitors for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Organize the letter more clearly by separating the main points into distinct paragraphs. Additionally, use more cohesive devices such as linking words to connect ideas and improve overall coherence.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used and consider using more precise and varied expressions to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and punctuation, and use a wider range of grammatical structures to demonstrate greater control of the language.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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