Some employers offer their employees subsidised membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion

The perpetual quest for enhanced employee productivity has led some employers to offer subsidised memberships to gyms and sports clubs, with the assumption that a healthier workforce equates to increased efficiency.
This
debate,
however
, raises pertinent arguments on both sides. On one hand, numerous benefits can be derived from
such
a scheme. Physically active employees are likely to be less stressed and more productive during working hours, resulting in improved output and enhanced service quality.
Moreover
,
this
initiative can favourably impact work-life balance by rendering leisure time more engaging and fulfilling. For many employees,
this
may serve as a potent motivator, rivalling the allure of pay increments, bonuses, or incentives.
Furthermore
, improved physical well-being often correlates with heightened job satisfaction, which can foster a more dedicated workforce.
Conversely
, there are valid concerns regarding the efficacy of
such
subsidies. Unlike performance-related payments, where progress is quantifiable and objectives are clearly defined, the tangible benefits of subsidised gym memberships are harder to measure. Alternatively, diverting these resources to on-the-job training or
day release
Add a hyphen
day-release
show examples
programs could yield more discernible results. These initiatives could accelerate career progression, bolster job prospects, and provide employees with a competitive edge. Crucially,
such
investments can be more readily evaluated in performance reviews and appraisals, mitigating the risks associated with restructuring or downsizing. Ultimately,
while
subsidising gym memberships may seem appealing, its lack of measurability is a considerable drawback.
In contrast
, allocating company resources to ongoing training programs appears to offer more quantifiable benefits and
thus
, greater value for money.
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task achievement
For task achievement, it is important to make sure that relevant examples are included to strengthen the argument. Consider providing specific cases or data that illustrate the benefits or drawbacks of subsidised gym memberships.
coherence cohesion
Regarding coherence and cohesion, while the essay is logical and well-structured, consider adding connecting words or phrases between paragraphs to further enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view of both the advantages and disadvantages of subsidising gym memberships, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is strong, with a clear introduction, well-organised body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The points raised in the essay are well-developed and supported by reasonable arguments, enhancing the overall coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • subsidized membership
  • physical activity
  • energy levels
  • employee productivity
  • work performance
  • sick leaves
  • healthier lifestyle
  • absenteeism
  • employee morale
  • workplace environment
  • employee retention
  • corporate image
  • branding
  • health and wellness benefits
  • top talent
  • healthcare costs
  • medical intervention
  • lack of usage
  • underutilization
  • alternative wellness programs
  • mental health resources
  • flexible working hours
  • professional development
  • individual responsibility
  • corporate responsibility
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