Some people say that museums should be free , whereas others think that some entry fee should be there. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Museums
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are vast
soruce
Correct your spelling
sources
of knowledge for learners and it has become debatable whether
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
museums
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should be free of cost or should have
a fixed entry
Correct the article-noun agreement
a fixed entry fee
fixed entry fees
show examples
fees
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. Both the notions have their own pros and cons.
This
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essay will shed light on both
preceptions
Correct your spelling
perceptions
show examples
and will
also
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mention my opinion in the conclusion. To commence with the advents of free
museums
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,
accessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
to everyone as visitors
in
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to
show examples
museums
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hail from all walks of life means come
different
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from different
show examples
financial backgrounds and some commoners consider it as
unnecessary
Add an article
an unnecessary
show examples
expense to buy tickets
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therefore
Add the comma(s)
, therefore
show examples
, they avoid visiting
such
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places.
Moreover
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, trips organised by schools for
museums
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are paid
by
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for by
show examples
parents which include expensive tickets
of
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to
show examples
museums
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and
such
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expenses make
common
Correct article usage
the common
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breadwinner of
home
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the home
show examples
resentful.To cite an example, in
India
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India,
show examples
it is very common for private educational institutes to organise trips to
museums
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for educational
purpose
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purposes
show examples
but, the children of
middle -class
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middle-class
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families are mostly prohibited by their guardians
to join
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from joining
show examples
such
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trips in order to save money.
Consequently
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, learners do not get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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to see historical items and monuments.
On the contrary
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,wealth earned by ticket
fees
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can be used to renovate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
historical
museums
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and historical items ,which will provide more
self life
Add a hyphen
self-life
show examples
to historical art and
this
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will preserve the history of a particular period.
For instance
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, in many
nations
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nations,
show examples
it has been observed that paid
museums
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are in good
conditions
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condition
show examples
as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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to
one's
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ones
show examples
that are funded by
government
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the government
show examples
.
Hence
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, a genuine amount of
fees
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should be paid by visitors.
Moreover
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, workers of
museums
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can be paid with the funds collected in museum visit
fees
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. Owing
this
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this
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fact, it can be said that
museums
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will become a place of employment for various people. To recapitulate, from my
standpoint
Add a comma
standpoint,
show examples
a genuine amount of
fees
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should be fixed by
museums
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because to keep historical items for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time period proper renovation and excellent workers are required which is possible if proper funds can be collected by
museums
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by gill.g24 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction introduces the topic more clearly and the conclusion provides a stronger summary of the main points.
task response
Provide specific and relevant examples to support your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
Work on expanding your vocabulary and using more sophisticated lexical choices to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
grammatical range
Make sure to use a wider variety of sentence structures and pay attention to grammatical accuracy to improve the overall grammatical range of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public institutions
  • accessible
  • cultural and historical heritage
  • financial barriers
  • less advantaged socio-economic backgrounds
  • inclusive society
  • maintenance
  • acquisitions
  • quality exhibitions
  • steady source of income
  • overcrowding
  • enjoyable experience
  • moderate
  • sustainable funding
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