Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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there has been controversy about whether hard work leads to accomplishment or other criteria

as well as

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wealth or appearance. From my perspective, I believe that in today's world, some factors like money have more impact on the way toward success.

This

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essay will discuss both views in the following paragraphs. To inaugurate , nowadays, everything is possible through willpower and hard work. From childhood until the end of life, individuals should do anything to not only reach their goals in life but

also

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to provide for their basic needs

such

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as food and clothes.

In other words

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, big dreams cannot be achieved only by hard effort which includes time, energy and even discipline which in some way takes a person's entire life. In university,

for instance

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, if someone wants to become among the high-ranked students, should only focus on his/her studies and avoid other free-time activities and fill spare time by participating in different classes to reach her/his purpose.

Thus

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, hard work is one of the main ways to reach high-status positions.

On the other hand

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, in

this

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cutting-edge era , no one can ignore the impact of property and wealth.

while

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effort is an important factor, having cash and being rich is always needed.

Additionally

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, the more wealth a person has, the more high social position will have.

Furthermore

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, as I mentioned,

for example

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, if a student wants to decide on higher education it would not happen only by being rich

due to

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the tremendous university fees.

Hence

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, property is not only a thing but is needed. In conclusion, from my point of view, hard performance is not enough to accomplish success.

By contrast

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, with money and a little effort, everyone can reach success.

sh.sharifpour79Wed Nov 15 2023

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Task Response

The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing both views, but lacks in providing a comprehensive response. It's important to thoroughly discuss each view and provide a clear opinion in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure is clear, but there is inconsistency in presenting and supporting main points. The essay lacks coherence in forming detailed arguments for each viewpoint and connecting ideas within paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision of meaning. Consider using a wider variety of vocabulary to accurately convey ideas and arguments.

Grammatical Range

While the essay demonstrates an attempt at complex structures, there are frequent errors in sentence structure, tense usage, and word choice. Focus on improving sentence variety and accuracy in grammatical structures.

15
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are crippled by gridlocked traffic. What are the possible solutions for these cities?

Writing task 1 general training -You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase Write letter to the company that you bought the clothing from.In your email -give details of the purchase Describe the problem -explain why you need a replacement urgently