IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

To what extent do you agree that people in high positions should get paid more than those in lower positions.

#people #positions
People with higher
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 hold more responsibility compared to the ones with lower
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
,
therefore
 it is justifiable to give them more salary. Some people believe. There are several reasons why subordinates get lower
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 than their
bos
Correct your spelling
boss
. The first reason is the burden that needs to be carried out by a
bos
 is much higher than his staff.
Secondly
, the task is more difficult.
Thirdly
, mostly they have more experience than their subordinates so it's fair to give them more benefits. People with lower
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 usually come from fresh
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they do not have
Change the article
the skill
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 to offer to the company. Even if so, they still could climb up from a certain level to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher level. Being a
bos
Correct your spelling
boss
bonus
 is expected to do and achieve more.
While
 some staff is able to enjoy their lives
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 going to a party or hanging out with friends, a
bos
Correct your spelling
boss
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 supposed to stay in the office to do a job because it is their responsibility.
From
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 my personal opinion, I used to be paid lower than my
bos
Correct your spelling
boss
boys
. He could get more than 1000$
while
 I was just paid around 700$.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas more effectively to improve coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use academic language where appropriate.
grammatical range
Work on using a variety of complex sentence structures and grammatical forms.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: