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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#floor #plan #library #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given maps illustrate a public library's floor
plane
Correct your spelling
plan
show examples
 two decades ago and now.
Overall
Linking Words
, tables, chairs
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
enquiry deck and other old places was removed, and replaced by
cafe
Add an article
the cafe
a cafe
show examples
,
computer
Use synonyms
room
Use synonyms
 and self-service machines these kind of modern designed
area
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
20 years ago, the library had tables and chairs in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 with adult
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 on its left and adult non-
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 on
its
Change the word
the
show examples
 right. A place for CDs, videos and
computer
Use synonyms
 games
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the top-left
corner
Use synonyms
;
Use synonyms
area
Correct article usage
an area
show examples
 for children's
books
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the top-right
corner
Use synonyms
;
reading
Correct article usage
the reading
show examples
room
Use synonyms
. The entrance was
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
bottom-center
Change the spelling
bottom-centre
show examples
 of the library, and
reading
Correct article usage
the reading
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 with newspapers and magazines was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the bottom-left
corner
Use synonyms
,
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 enquiry desk
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the bottom-right
corner
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, tables and chairs
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 removed. Adult
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 were replaced by all reference
books
Use synonyms
, and
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 for
adut
Correct your spelling
adult
fiction
Use synonyms
 added an information desk and self-service machines.
Use synonyms
Area
Correct article usage
The area
show examples
 for CDs, videos,
Use synonyms
computer
Correct word choice
and computer
show examples
 games
was replace
Change the verb form
was replaced
show examples
 by
a
Change the article
an
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 with children's
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
, sofas and a
plce
Correct your spelling
place
 for
story telling
Correct your spelling
storytelling
show examples
 events.
Use synonyms
Area
Add an article
The area
An area
show examples
 originally for children's
books
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
bacame
Correct your spelling
became
lecture
Correct article usage
a lecture
show examples
room
Use synonyms
, and
reading
Correct article usage
the reading
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 was replaced by
Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
room
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
enquiry
Correct article usage
the enquiry
show examples
 deck was replaced by
cafe
Add an article
the cafe
a cafe
show examples
.
Submitted by papaya on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words computer, room, area, fiction, books, corner with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • public library
  • layout
  • reading area
  • computer station
  • multimedia section
  • children's area
  • reference section
  • study cubicles
  • shelving units
  • digital media
  • technological advancements
  • user behavior
  • accessibility
  • traffic flow
  • modernization
  • community needs
  • conversion
  • allocation
  • removal
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