IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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A few people believe that exercising is crucial to their well-being,
while
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 others opine that having a balanced meal is more crucial.
While
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 the former
group
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 believes that regular
exercise
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 is good for your
health
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 because it keeps the person healthy, the latter
group
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 adheres to the belief that consuming a balanced meal would help your body system.
However
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, the
opinion
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 of
this
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 essay is that getting enough
rest
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 and staying away from junk would help you stay healthy.
To begin
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 with, the former
group
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 holds on to their
opinion
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 because having daily
exercise
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 would make the person look younger and stronger than their age.
As a result
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, exercises are good for anyone, and if you engage in frequent sporting activities, they will keep you fit.
For instance
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, Mr. Dawudu Ahmed from the World
Health
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 Organization suggested that incorporating
exercise
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 into daily routines is essential for 70% of Nigerians. As
such
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, anyone who loves his or her
health
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 should value daily
exercise
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. Contrary to the above, the other
group
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 holds on to the
opinion
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 that consuming a good meal would make you healthy. As
such
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, eating a nourishing meal can help you remain healthy and prevent your body system from being damaged. A good example is when it was published in the PUNCH Newspaper that 50% of Nigerians are eating healthy meals.
Hence
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, eating healthy will not only protect your body organs but will
also
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 keep you away from the hospital.
However
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, the
opinion
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 of
this
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 essay is that getting enough
rest
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 is crucial to your well-being.
This
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 is because some people think sleep is not important to their
health
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 and decide to have less sleep.
For example
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, Dr. Nnamdi Okereke emphasizes the significance of
rest
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 in his book titled "A Sleep for All." Sufficient sleep contributes to
overall
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health
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.
Thus
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, sleeping enough would not only keep the doctor away but
also
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 make you healthy. In conclusion, one
group
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 supports frequent
exercise
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, another prefers balanced meals,
while
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 the essay argues that good
health
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 is best achieved through adequate
rest
Use synonyms
 and avoiding junk food.
Hence
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, a healthy lifestyle is best for anyone looking to live long on earth.

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Articulate clear and relevant ideas, with appropriate examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is sound overall, but ensure that the essay follows a clear and coherent progression of ideas. Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. Use a variety of academic and idiomatic expressions to enhance the clarity and precision of the essay.
grammatical range
Develop a wider range of sentence structures and ensure accurate use of grammar throughout the essay. Vary sentence length and complexity to enhance coherence and demonstrate a rich command of English.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
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