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Band 7

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In recent years,
discipline
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 has become a major concern in schools. Some believe that it is the duty of
teachers
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 to manage and correct
students
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’
behaviour
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,
while
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 others argue that
this
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responsibility
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 belongs mainly to
parents
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. Both views have valid points, and in my opinion, both parties should share the
responsibility
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. On the one hand,
teachers
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 are expected to manage
discipline
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 inside the school because they are in direct contact with
students
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 for a large part of the day. They are trained professionals who understand how to control classroom
behaviour
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, use effective teaching strategies, and maintain a learning environment.
For example
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,
teachers
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 can set clear rules and give fair punishments or rewards, which helps
students
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 understand boundaries. Without
discipline
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 in the classroom, teaching and learning can be interrupted.
On the other hand
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,
parents
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 play a critical role in shaping a child’s
behaviour
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 from an early age.
Children
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 learn
discipline
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 and respect at home
first,
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and these habits are carried into the classroom. If
parents
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 fail to teach basic values like
responsibility
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 and respect,
teachers
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 may find it difficult to handle
students
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.
For instance
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,
students
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 who are not taught to listen or obey adults may not respond well to school rules.
Therefore
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, many believe that
parents
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 must take the lead in teaching
discipline
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. In my opinion, both
teachers
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 and
parents
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 should work together to instil
discipline
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 in
children
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.
While
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teachers
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 can guide
students
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 during school hours, the foundation of good
behaviour
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 should be built at home. Communication between schools and families is essential to ensure that
children
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 get a consistent message. In conclusion,
discipline
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 is a shared
responsibility
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.
Teachers
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 manage it in schools, but the support of
parents
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 is necessary to make it effective. Only through cooperation can
children
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 develop into respectful and responsible individuals.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each point is clearly linked to the main argument. You could use more linking words.
task achievement
You might want to add more specific examples or details to support your points.
positive
Your essay has a clear structure with a good introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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