Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

Although
paid
work
is thought by some to be a good experience for
children
, other people think it can be detrimental.
Children
can learn about earning money and gain independence from doing paid
work
but there are
also
drawbacks to be taken into account. On the one hand, there are a number of advantages to
children
doing paid
work
.
Firstly
, one benefit of
children
doing paid
work
is that they understand the value of money as they realise the
work
needed to earn it.
Secondly
, having a paid job is advantageous because
children
take their first steps in learning how to manage and save money. Many older
children
,
for instance
, have a part-time job in order to save up for something they would
otherwise
be unable to afford.
Thirdly
, working teaches
children
responsibility and independence. These skills help
children
develop into self-supporting adults ready to enter society and the workforce.
On the other hand
, one problem when
children
have a job is that it potentially exposes them to exploitation through slave labour.
For example
, in some developing countries,
children
are made to
work
full-time but
due to
their age are not protected by law.
As a result
, they are paid negligible wages for
work
that can be tough, manual
work
. Another possible issue is that the time
children
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
working prevents them from focusing on their school
work
. Having a good education is the key to a successful future so being employed as a child can result in poor academic performance which can be harmful in the long run. In conclusion,
while
children
can benefit from some
work
experience, it can
also
lead to exploitation or lower grades at school.
Submitted by ashissarker18 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but can be further developed to provide a more comprehensive overview of the essay's content.
task achievement
The response is mostly complete, but could be improved by addressing the opposing viewpoint and providing further elaboration in the conclusion.
lexico grammar
A wide range of vocabulary and grammatical structures are used effectively, but some repetitive phrasing could be avoided to enhance variety and complexity of expression.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • financial independence
  • responsibility
  • valuable skills
  • impact
  • education
  • exploitation
  • negative effects
  • social life
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