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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

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Nowadays, the younger generations
access
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 the
internet
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 without supervision.
Therefore
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, they are exposed to several problems
such
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 as accessing inappropriate contexts and cyberbullying. In the following, we will discuss several problems that faced
children
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 when being online without mentoring.
Furthermore
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, we will elaborate more on possible solutions to address
this
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 issue. One of the most detrimental problems of accessing
children
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 on the
internet
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 and social websites without mentoring is they may encounter unsuitable content
such
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 as violations and other aspects that harm their development stage. In fact,
children
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 are not mature enough to distinguish between beneficial and harmful materials.
Additionally
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, they
also
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 may expose themselves to cyberbullying.
As a result
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 of uncontrolled socializing practices,
children
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 may contact with strangers and unintentionally share their private information.
Hence
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, attackers can expose
children
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 to perform unethical actions
such
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 as cyberbullying. A possible solution to
this
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 problem would be
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parents
Change preposition
for parents
show examples
 should mentor and control the type of materials that their
children
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 use
while
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 using the
internet
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.
Consequently
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, It is essential as a responsible parental role
for example
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 use available mentoring and tracking tools to check the type of information that their
children
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access
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 usually. Meanwhile, setting boundaries is crucial to prevent kids from accessing unsuitable content.
Moreover
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,
Parents
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 should open authentic and genuine channels between their
children
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.
Thus
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, they can share with their
parents
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 what type of activities do
while
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 using social websites. In
this
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 way,
parents
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 can know more comprehensively about their
children
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's actions and can correct their mistakes and help them to foster responsible usage of the
internet
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.
To conclude
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, uncontrolled
access
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 to the
internet
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 can expose
children
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 to harmful information
as well as
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 cyberbullying. To solve uncontrolled
access
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,
parents
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 should utilize mentoring tools to check the kind of content that their
children
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access
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 and they should open a good communication channel between their
children
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 to cultivate responsible usage of the
internet
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.

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task response
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented. Make sure to maintain this level of clarity and conciseness throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Good use of vocabulary and terminology. Consider incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the depth of your arguments.
grammatical range
Your sentence structures are generally accurate. However, work on incorporating more complex grammatical structures and varied sentence patterns to showcase a wider grammatical range.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unsupervised access
  • parental supervision
  • inappropriate content
  • online bullying
  • harassment
  • strangers
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • addiction
  • privacy
  • security
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