IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people are doing their shopping on the Internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of shopping online.

#people #internet
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In recent years, online shopping has gained tremendous popularity as people increasingly rely on the Internet to purchase goods and services.
While
 there are some drawbacks,
such
 as security concerns and the inability to physically inspect
products
, I believe the main benefits,
such
 as
convenience
 and a wider selection of
products
, are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage of shopping online may be the risk of fraud and security concerns. Many users worry about the potential for cyber theft and identity theft when providing sensitive information online, as there have been numerous reports of data breaches in recent years. Another perceived negative is the lack of physical inspection and trial before purchase.
This
 limitation can be particularly problematic for items like clothing, where fit and fabric quality are best assessed in person.
For example
, some customers who shop for apparel online may find that the size or
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 does not meet their expectations, leading to dissatisfaction or the inconvenience of returns.
On the other hand
, a primary advantage of online shopping is its
convenience
 and time-saving nature. People can easily make purchases from the comfort of their homes, avoiding the need to travel, wait in lines, or adhere to store hours.
This
convenience
 allows individuals to manage their time more efficiently, which is particularly beneficial for those with busy schedules. A
further
 benefit is the wider selection and variety of
products
 available online. Unlike physical stores, which are often limited by space, online platforms can offer an extensive range of items, allowing consumers to choose from countless brands, styles, and sizes.
For instance
, someone looking for a specific item, like a rare book or unique fashion item, has a much higher chance of finding it online than in a local store. On balance, it is true that online shopping could seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances, especially concerning security and the inability to physically inspect
products
.
However
, in my view, its positive effects in terms of
convenience
 and variety far outweigh these drawbacks, making it an appealing option for modern consumers.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to further improve coherence.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping, and includes relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and the conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's perspective.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with specific information, such as the example about clothing when discussing physical inspection limitations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
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