IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Technology has changed human life in various aspects, which include both positive and negative effects. Discuss both views with suitable examples and give your own opinion.

Technology
Use synonyms
 has changed human life in different aspects of society, which has some positive effects ,
such
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 as improved communication, advancement in healthcare, and so on. It
also
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 has negative effects like isolation, job replacement, and many more.
This
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 essay will discuss both effects with suitable examples and explanations.
To begin
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, the first and foremost benefit is better communication. To elaborate, the internet is the core of modern
technology
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,
due to
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 which individuals can connect with each other from various countries.
Moreover
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, not only can they talk, but they can
also
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 see each other through video calls, which brings the global community together.
Additionally
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, in the past,
due to
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 a lack of medical resources, some
people
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 died without treatment.
However
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, new research and advancements in healthcare now allow
people
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 to live longer and healthier lives.
For instance
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, in past centuries, many
people
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 lost their lives because of AIDS.
People
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 used to treat them badly, and no one wanted to get close to them. The affected person was often isolated by society. But nowadays, thanks to
technology
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,
this
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 disease can be treated. Moving
further
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 towards the negative impact, the major one is loneliness. To explain,
technology
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 can lead to decreased face-to-face interactions.
People
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 may spend more time on electronic gadgets, and because of
this
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, they can neither socialise with others nor stay healthy.
As a result
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, many become victims of stress and depression.
Furthermore
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, over-reliance on
technology
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 can cause issues like reduced physical activity, as many individuals prefer using tablets or mobile phones
instead
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 of going outside and doing exercise.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by the University of Toronto revealed that more than 50% of
people
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 spend over five hours a day on screens, which directly affects their mental and physical health.
To conclude
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,
although
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technology
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 has numerous benefits, the problems arising from it cannot be ignored.
Therefore
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, I believe a balanced approach is the best solution.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words to show connections between ideas, which can improve the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Try to include a few more specific examples or details to support your points further.
task achievement
You included relevant examples that made your points clear and understandable.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are mostly well-organized and easy to follow, which is good for coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • communication
  • healthcare
  • education
  • information
  • access
  • example
  • interaction
  • physical
  • security
  • privacy
  • device
  • family
  • students
  • courses
  • instantly
  • advanced
  • resources
  • talk
  • treat
  • concerns
  • reduced
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