Some people say that the best way to reduce crime is by using prison sentences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It has become increasingly prevalent for people to opine that utilising
prison
as punishment can be the best method to alleviate the number of criminals. While
this
school of thoughts
is valid to a certain extent, I am of the viewpoint that there are still Fix the agreement mistake
thought
have
some ways equivalent to Unnecessary verb
apply
prison
sentences
.
On the one hand, the idea of penalizing is beneficial for several reasons. One advantage is that it acts as a warning people
not to break the law. Apparently, living condition in the Change preposition
to people
prison
is terrible and severe, in there prisoners
have to deal with lack
of nutrition, heavy work, filthy accommodation and even the bully from Correct article usage
a lack
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
prisoners
. Therefore
, they hesitate before committing a crime
when think about the consequence
. Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
Moreover
, it also
promote
the Change the verb form
promotes
prisoners
’ rehabilitation. When being captured in the prison
, they are isolated from society, family, lovers
and can only meet them once a couple of months. Correct word choice
and lovers
Hence
, prisoners
have the motivation to rehabilitate and reintegrate as soon as possible. Some studies showed that about 80% prisoners
in Change preposition
of prisoners
Viet Nam early
Correct your spelling
Vietnam are
release
from Replace the word
released
prison
sentences
because they miss their family
and do not want to be obsolethe when coming back to society.
Despite the aforementioned benefits, I believe that there are some ideal methods to reduce the number of offenders Fix the agreement mistake
families
besides
prison
sentences
. One way is lawbreakers have to do community services
based on the seriousness of the Fix the agreement mistake
service
crime
. Some crime
like robbery which have low seriousness do not need to be imprisoned. Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
Instead
of that, they have to do communal activities such
as court referral, volunteer work, or service restitution under heavy supervision. Furthermore
, the government can improve the area’s security by several regulations and laws. They might install the
surveillance cameras and increase the number of police patrolling. It can alleviate the opportunities for offenders to commit a Correct article usage
apply
crime
and detect them sooner. Consequently
, prison
sentences
is
not the best way to deter offenders.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
are
while
some claim that the best method to reduce law breaking
activities is utilising Add a hyphen
law-breaking
prison
penalties, it seems to me that there are some other methods which can also
alleviate crime
as effective
as Change the word
effectively
prison
.Submitted by dinhtrungkien285 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
Specific examples are relevant, but their development is superficial. Incorporating a wider range of detailed and contextually appropriate examples will support the ideas more robustly.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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