Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people believe that

jail

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is necessary for all

criminals

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, as opposed to others who believe they can impress in the community with working or learning,

instead

Linking Words

jail

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. From my perspective, we can make efficient use of

criminals

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. On one hand, prison can be effective for society.

Jail

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can be a deterrent for those who have the motivation to commit crimes, so crime statistics be reduced.

In addition

Linking Words

, it improves security.

For example

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, if we show those who are in prison to society, they appreciate the freedom they have and pay more attention to illegal acts.

Also

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, gives offenders the chance to reflect on their actions and gives them time to reform their behaviour.

On the other hand

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, there are several ways to control crimes that should be satisfactory for each case.

Firstly

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, proper training to educate

criminals

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can make them aware,

this

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awareness may prevent them from repeating the crime.

Secondly

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, giving these people the opportunity to develop their skills in positive ways can be beneficial for the community.

Therefore

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, it is crucial to employ them in the field in which they have talent.

For instance

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, every prison can be a university if we put experts and teachers in it, and

also

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remove their intention to repeat the crime. In conclusion,

while

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I accept

jail

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as an effective way to maintain order in society, I believe that word and education can be suitable alternatives. Punishment of

criminals

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should depend on the severity of crimes so that justice is well established.

siina.arabiiWed Nov 29 2023

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Introduction/Conclusion

Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the question and your stance, and your conclusion summarises your main points effectively to improve your score in introduction and conclusion presence.

Examples

Work on providing more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments to back your points with concrete evidence.

Logical Structure

Enhance your logical structure by using a range of cohesive devices appropriately and organising paragraphs clearly.

Task Response

To better address the task response, make sure you balance the discussion of both views and your own opinion. Embed your opinion throughout the essay rather than only presenting it at the end.

Idea Development

Clarify and develop your ideas further to avoid ambiguity, ensuring that each paragraph conveys a comprehensive idea.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some scientists believe that studying 3-year-old children can predict their criminality. To what extent do you think a crime is a product of human nature or is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

In recent years, people watch more movies from overseas. What are the reasons for this? Should the government give financial support to local cinema to produce local films?